Miscellaneous: Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with...

By fearofzombies - 13/08/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 311

You deserved it 13 256

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/03/2012 17:21 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 343

You deserved it 4 375

Nightmare mode

By oliver - 27/01/2016 12:02 - United States

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 523

You deserved it 2 269

By Anonymous - 29/03/2011 23:58 - Canada

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 944

You deserved it 3 987

Wuss

By scaredy cat - 09/08/2020 14:02

Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 183

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 043

You deserved it 5 237

By pizzafaceinc - 02/03/2010 02:24 - United States

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 746

You deserved it 3 049

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 974

You deserved it 293

By Grubendol - 15/12/2011 17:30 - United States

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 624

You deserved it 6 014

Night fight

By FistFighter - 09/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 940

You deserved it 12 978

By Deadman - 02/04/2012 13:37 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 898

You deserved it 2 533

ananamoose 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 22:06

keep fighting til death... that's my advice next time don't wake up, if you wake up the zombies win!!!! Dont let them win!!!!

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 13 August 2009 22:08

If you bust your own nose while fighting, I wouldn't suggest taking the zombies on anytime soon.

Comments

I_HAVE_A_BIG_DIC 0

Friday 14 August 2009 10:51

did you also fight off the one eyed giant that night. but in ur case the one eyed dwarf

youaresofucked 0

Friday 14 August 2009 13:42

cool.

crazycontagious 0

Friday 14 August 2009 19:55

This made me laugh so hard lol

boogersyum 0

Friday 14 August 2009 22:31

You lost the fight w. yourself?

akkid17 0

Friday 14 August 2009 22:47

your mom beats u in your sleep lol

mumafiedmustangs 0

Saturday 15 August 2009 8:46

hey how did it go show me one more time

EveryDayJackAss 0

Saturday 15 August 2009 9:00

YES hitting yourself in the face during a zombie invasion is VERY effective....why not try kicking yourself in the balls while you're at it? it really keeps those zombies from tastin ur delicious 5 stars brains seasoned with sperm from meat balls stuffed inside the brains....yummm sounds sooo delicious from just me typing it out ^_^

amstillives 0

Saturday 15 August 2009 17:27

I agree #97 Although kicking yourself in the balls is pretty hard. I mean if he could punch himself while sleeping, he could kick himself in the balls haha

Gameguy602 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 0:58

I read an fml once, the guy said he tried to kick himself in the balls to see if it was possible. The last words of the fml were "It is..."

srsbsns 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 0:00

If this seriously happened, I would definitely recommend seeing a doctor. That much activity while being asleep is unusual. If this was made up, thank you. You just made my day.