Kids: Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD....

By MLGreco - 14/10/2011 16:11 - United States

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 466

You deserved it 5 780

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Same thing different taste

Sore loser, even sorer winner

By Silent Fan 2022 - 24/11/2023 22:00

Today, I beat my old college friend at CoD and mocked him vigorously, to which he replied, “Don’t feel bad for me, I have a hot wife, a baby on the way, and a house I paid off by selling my business. How are you?” I… won a video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 748

By Anonymous - 26/10/2014 03:28 - United States - Salem

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 203

You deserved it 2 879

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 211

You deserved it 3 626

By BlazefireSaber - 07/07/2015 03:59 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 530

You deserved it 2 995

By smellsofeggs - 26/11/2009 21:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 065

You deserved it 8 506

Dude, gross!

By Mojo0608 - 02/11/2014 21:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my 16-year-old brother once again scored well at a local archery competition. He got home and, once again, unleashed his "spectacular aim" at the toilet - or rather the toilet seat and surrounding floor. He refuses to clean the bathroom we share every single time he does this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 289

You deserved it 2 540

By NaomiMadison - 30/07/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 121

You deserved it 3 143

By Christine - 09/05/2009 06:08 - United States

Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" In a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 000

You deserved it 51 208

By john r.t. - 10/11/2012 00:30 - United States - Eagle Pass

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 723

You deserved it 3 510

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 14:00

Today, my friend beat me at a video game. He got smug, so I made an "I fucked your mom" style joke. Yeah, kina forgot for a minute that his mom died last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 273

DrDilllonReese 12

Friday 14 October 2011 21:26

Cats are slowly replacing dogs as the new killstreak

davymac718 4

Friday 14 October 2011 21:27

Payback is a bitch... Well in this case a pussy!

Comments

jdawg2010 0

Friday 14 October 2011 22:34

that's the funniest thing ever. what's he gonna do for chopper gunner?(;

thisisafunnyname 12

Friday 14 October 2011 22:44

That, my friends, is why you plant the claymore in the doorway

murphy22 6

Saturday 15 October 2011 11:36

Amen

kleider1 9

Friday 14 October 2011 22:47

He's a sore loser. FYL OP

emogirlz 8

Friday 14 October 2011 22:48

That's so mean yet so funny :D

Fountainel 0

Friday 14 October 2011 22:53

Poor cat

Jasonf6 0

Friday 14 October 2011 23:10

What a sore loser.

BronyVasNormandy 12

Friday 14 October 2011 23:13

**** YOUR life? Think of the murders he committed to earn that killstreak!

alyssana 0

Friday 14 October 2011 23:15

haha i actually did that to my brother. the cat still holds it against him. lol

Aleahgirl89 0

Friday 14 October 2011 23:16

Jeez quit being a pussy XD Couldve been worse lol but seriously op....That sucks

Bekll 31

Friday 14 October 2011 23:20

I hate it when people mistreat cats, or any animal for that matter. >_< They're not for our cruel amusement.

xiiijinx 5

Saturday 15 October 2011 10:50

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The Top

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 825

You deserved it 54 984

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 2 707

The Top

Today, I finally quit the job that I've been complaining about. Before I could tell my husband, he informed me that he had been laid off, and was thankful we still had my income. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 669

You deserved it 17 268

Today, I was at Home Depot getting a Christmas tree with my family. While picking out a tree, a man thought it would be nice to help cut off the string that held the tree together. The branches hit me in the face and the guy managed to cut my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 991

You deserved it 2 637

Today, a guy asked for hot fries at the drive thru. After receiving the fries, he threw them at the drive thru window, complained that they were too hot, and asked for the manager for burning his mouth. I am the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 054

You deserved it 153

Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 896

You deserved it 4 832

Today, I had an ultrasound which required me to have a full bladder. I arrived on time, bladder full, only to be stuck in waiting room limbo for 40 mins. I nearly exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 106

Today, after moving back in with my parents, I found out they had held on to a chunk of mail still being sent during the time I had been changing my old address. Included was a summons to jury duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 839

You deserved it 1 435

Same thing different taste

Sore loser, even sorer winner

Dude, gross!

Heated gaming moment

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