Health: Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

By CaoiiBieber - 17/07/2011 19:15 - Ireland

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 255

You deserved it 38 868

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Same thing different taste

Hangry dude

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 20:01

Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 247

By Nick - 11/02/2010 18:35 - United States

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 496

You deserved it 5 583

By 8sq - 11/06/2011 01:32 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 602

You deserved it 16 358

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 16:47 - United States - Suwanee

Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 252

You deserved it 5 504

Introvert struggles

By knife knife - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 919

You deserved it 15 488

By M2thaM - 29/05/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 603

You deserved it 56 771

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 00:01

Today, a fork hit me in the eye. I was holding it. I didn't even get to eat my chicken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 556

By lectro - 23/11/2008 08:22 - France

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 928

You deserved it 31 037

By Anonymous - 11/07/2013 17:08 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 704

You deserved it 54 235

By Dipping Tired - 20/04/2016 23:17 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 753

You deserved it 7 196

JayBear14 11

Monday 18 July 2011 0:25

how does that work?

Captain_Obvious2_fml 6

Monday 18 July 2011 0:58

i had trouble clicking this...

Comments

kenziem18 0

Monday 18 July 2011 7:44

how the f**?

Itsasecret11 0

Monday 18 July 2011 7:57

Oh yea cause that happens all the time...right everyone?

Lulblast 4

Monday 18 July 2011 8:02

How did you do? Did you let the fork finish on your face?

sakana_fml 7

Monday 18 July 2011 8:13

I like that OP's name has the word "Bieber" in it.

toastyjustice 5

Monday 18 July 2011 8:17

It took me 5 tries to open this FML -_-

nervewurrba 0

Monday 18 July 2011 8:22

this is under intimacy...

PoserPunx 0

Monday 18 July 2011 9:27

honestly, I'm not even touching this one.

Jdeluxh 12

Monday 18 July 2011 9:47

kinky

shadowx41 0

Monday 18 July 2011 10:09

i could use u tonight ill pay 20 up front extra if ur good

goodfella925 0

Monday 18 July 2011 10:24

use a cucumber, not as sharp:p

Keywords

Gross Animals Cats Health Relatable Poopoo peepee Parents Creepy Kids Scary Mental health Miscellaneous Cold weather Embarrassing Dating Tinder Love Cute Work Transportation Awkward Cops Sports Crush Education Teachers AITA Mother in law Weddings Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 019

You deserved it 7 353

Today, our little family business was asked to do a presentation at my daughter's school. When we got there and I saw her, I waved to her happily but she totally blanked me, plus my super strict mom smacked me on the back of the head for embarrassing her by not acting professionally while I was technically working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 176

The Top

Today, I had dinner at a local fast-food joint. There's an employee there that I usually talk to and flirt with, so I thought maybe it was time to ask for her number. After a small conversation and almost getting to the point, she told me, "I'm 17." I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 198

You deserved it 798

Today, my son rejected a job offer because it interferes with the streaming schedule of some Twitch dirtbag. He's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 212

Today, my husband's daughter told us that she's 5 months pregnant. I'm going to be a step grandmother and I'm only 23 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 137

You deserved it 48 300

Today, I was robbed of five bucks by a vending machine that said "Enjoy Life!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 941

You deserved it 3 783

Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling upbeat and confident I was gonna get the position, until I saw that my main qualification on my resume was being a "real n**ga" and "getting bitches and hoes 24/7." My brother had changed it as a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 241

Today, I woke up my friend and had him take me to the ER. I had trouble breathing and my chest hurt, so the doctor put me on an EKG and took X-rays. I had strained my chest lifting weights at the gym earlier that day and pulled a muscle, and now thanks to my massive anxiety I have a $700 hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 336

You deserved it 1 964

Same thing different taste

Hangry dude

Introvert struggles

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