Love: Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin"....

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 128

You deserved it 36 233

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By muffingirl - 10/02/2010 12:30 - United Kingdom

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 806

You deserved it 8 154

The Conquest of Bread

By Anonymous - 26/04/2021 11:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 264

By C. Kronick - 11/02/2009 05:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 924

You deserved it 5 463

By rosabelle91 - 17/06/2012 14:58 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 442

You deserved it 14 793

By Jaided_Genetics - 17/08/2016 04:20 - Canada - Kingston

Today, I finally addressed why my boyfriend started calling me "love bug" since we haven't used pet names in the entirety of our 2 year relationship. His response? "because I love you but you bug the shit out of me. It seemed appropriate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 515

You deserved it 2 682

By Anonymous - 28/05/2017 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 866

You deserved it 1 788

By Djcc - 21/02/2012 18:03 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 983

You deserved it 7 113

Yummy

By Cupcakes - 15/04/2013 05:11 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 656

You deserved it 53 753

By Lucachoo - 26/07/2015 00:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 377

You deserved it 2 649

By Pita - 04/12/2010 20:35 - United States

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 375

You deserved it 6 577

thefranks 0

Thursday 4 November 2010 23:50

ahhh makin love in the bakery

KingDingALing 9

Thursday 4 November 2010 23:53

Ask him if you can call him "needle dick".

Comments

iheart 0

Friday 5 November 2010 4:35

that would be a no...

penguinazul 13

Friday 5 November 2010 4:39

^^ this. The girl was probably just being silly; it did not call for such a rude reply.

TheOtherNewest1 6

Friday 5 November 2010 5:05

You deserve it for thinking a man would enjoy being called "love muffin."

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Friday 5 November 2010 5:45

I guess he won't be loving your muffin for a while. :P

Malfunktyn24 0

Friday 5 November 2010 5:56

LIFESAVERS MUFFINTOP COMMERCIAL=HUGE WIN!!!! MUST WATCH!

adorkable_spazz 0

Friday 5 November 2010 6:06

YDI

FirstBornUnicorn 0

Friday 5 November 2010 6:06

Mmm. Muffins.

ADoolittle 0

Friday 5 November 2010 6:08

What an asshole..

evilshade 0

Friday 5 November 2010 6:46

Omg he's liek such an azz dump him!!! U go gurl

TheNewGuy03 28

Friday 5 November 2010 6:50

everyone calling this dude an asshole has no sense of humor. she really did open herself up for that, amongst other things... |the kid|

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 774

You deserved it 2 046

Today, I’ve been getting a lot of strange messages from guys on the dating site I use, then I realised why: on my profile pic I'm sat down and you can see my nice underwear up my skirt. That explains the messages, they thought I was trolling for men to hump and dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 979

The Top

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had responded to an online missed connection posting. He has been emailing, exchanging pictures and making plans to go out with this girl. We are supposed to be married in the fall and just put down the non-refundable deposit on our reception site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 673

You deserved it 3 289

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 861

You deserved it 3 553

Today, I ran into a guy who I was completely in love with for months. After a couple of minutes, I realised he totally bores me senseless. What a waste of 4 months obsessing over that shithead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 745

You deserved it 64 891

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 814

You deserved it 3 775

Today, I yawned so hard that I dislocated my jaw completely, then had to ask to be excused from class in front of 30 people with my mouth hanging open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 778

You deserved it 1 966

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 587

You deserved it 7 938

Same thing different taste

The Conquest of Bread

Yummy

Top comments

Comments