Miscellaneous: Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them....

By S. - 26/08/2012 16:20 - Estonia

Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 291

You deserved it 12 745

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Same thing different taste

By stupidtoothpick2 - 16/08/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 270

You deserved it 8 489

Pizza mystery

By Pick out the picks - 24/09/2022 15:30 - United States

Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 129

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 609

You deserved it 2 893

Use your socks

By Anonymous - 14/03/2021 05:01 - Norway

Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 221

By Ouchies - 01/10/2009 22:31 - United States

Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 294

You deserved it 3 798

Noise annoys

By mandythepandy - 04/03/2017 04:00

Today, same as every other day, I had to pick up around 8 spoons because my cats love to take them and drop them on the floor around my house so they can listen to the noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 554

You deserved it 1 060

By disgusted - 23/02/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 453

You deserved it 3 688

By ouch - 05/10/2015 19:20 - United States - Stockton

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 876

You deserved it 3 772

By flipflap - 14/06/2015 06:35

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 326

You deserved it 7 122

Spice

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 977

TurtleSmile 14

Sunday 26 August 2012 19:53

That's too bad. Did you count all of them to make sure you didn't lose any?

deathpotato 11

Sunday 26 August 2012 19:53

A firm grip usually fixes that problem.

Comments

SmittyKick 18

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:03

498..499..500.. *Drops them* DANMIT!!!!

alicat72998 0

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:04

Make you sure you pick every one of them. It hurts to step on...

highway_unicorn7 5

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:05

You must be a dentist. Where can I buy my 500 pack of toothbrushes?

SayCrackAgain 0

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:09

*toothpicks

AussieChild 22

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:05

Wow, your life must be pretty good if you think this warrants hating your life...

llamafish 25

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:06

You sound like you'd be great at 52 card pickup!

Tiwuz 19

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:17

That sounds like fun! How do you play?

Enslaved 36

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:52

It's the game you only play once.

dansythomas 6

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:08

Wow you have such a bad life

musicluvr2000 11

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:15

That's why I don't like toothpicks.

kimg0885 23

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:23

Rain man? Quick how many did you drop?

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:26

Just kick them all under a piece of furniture. Or, if you're on a hard floor, sweep.

nukeacat 9

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:34

I feel like I've seen this FML before.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me, so when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 201

You deserved it 5 718

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 145

You deserved it 7 104

The Top

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 601

You deserved it 3 642

Today, my wife and I have been trying for kids for years and nothing, yet my deadbeat brother just ran out on his third pregnant girlfriend in a row, with no intention of meeting the baby ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 147

Today, a customer threw his hot coffee all over me, because it was taking "too long" for their credit card to be approved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 105

You deserved it 3 234

Today, a student threw her hot coffee at me after I told her I was giving her an F. For months I've been telling her she needs to hand in missing work, but she thought I was bluffing. She got suspended, but my clothes are still ruined and I still got burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 611

You deserved it 1 793

Today, after starting my new career as a server, two women were kind enough to leave a $5 tip… while still owing $6.84 on their bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 632

You deserved it 163

Today, I have to wake up in 3 hours for work, the medicine that should've made me sleep 8 hours straight failed and I woke up an hour later, not being able to sleep anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 66