Miscellaneous: Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them....

By S. - 26/08/2012 16:20 - Estonia

Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 289

You deserved it 12 745

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Same thing different taste

By stupidtoothpick2 - 16/08/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 268

You deserved it 8 489

Pizza mystery

By Pick out the picks - 24/09/2022 15:30 - United States

Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 128

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 608

You deserved it 2 893

Use your socks

By Anonymous - 14/03/2021 05:01 - Norway

Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 220

By Ouchies - 01/10/2009 22:31 - United States

Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 293

You deserved it 3 798

Noise annoys

By mandythepandy - 04/03/2017 04:00

Today, same as every other day, I had to pick up around 8 spoons because my cats love to take them and drop them on the floor around my house so they can listen to the noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 553

You deserved it 1 058

By disgusted - 23/02/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 452

You deserved it 3 687

By ouch - 05/10/2015 19:20 - United States - Stockton

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 876

You deserved it 3 769

By flipflap - 14/06/2015 06:35

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 325

You deserved it 7 119

Spice

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 977

TurtleSmile 14

Sunday 26 August 2012 19:53

That's too bad. Did you count all of them to make sure you didn't lose any?

deathpotato 11

Sunday 26 August 2012 19:53

A firm grip usually fixes that problem.

Comments

SmittyKick 18

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:03

498..499..500.. *Drops them* DANMIT!!!!

alicat72998 0

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:04

Make you sure you pick every one of them. It hurts to step on...

highway_unicorn7 5

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:05

You must be a dentist. Where can I buy my 500 pack of toothbrushes?

SayCrackAgain 0

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:09

*toothpicks

AussieChild 22

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:05

Wow, your life must be pretty good if you think this warrants hating your life...

llamafish 25

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:06

You sound like you'd be great at 52 card pickup!

Tiwuz 19

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:17

That sounds like fun! How do you play?

Enslaved 36

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:52

It's the game you only play once.

dansythomas 6

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:08

Wow you have such a bad life

musicluvr2000 11

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:15

That's why I don't like toothpicks.

kimg0885 23

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:23

Rain man? Quick how many did you drop?

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:26

Just kick them all under a piece of furniture. Or, if you're on a hard floor, sweep.

nukeacat 9

Sunday 26 August 2012 20:34

I feel like I've seen this FML before.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Neighbours Wanker Lonely Halloween Party Love Jealousy Argument Fight Family Animals Cats Parents Sports Health Embarrassing Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Cute Dogs Work AITA

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 47 069

You deserved it 6 947

Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML

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You deserved it 11 130

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 47 306

You deserved it 6 062

Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 727

You deserved it 10 731

Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 140

You deserved it 50 405

Today, a guy I'd been seeing briefly came over for cocktails and a movie. The night ended with him vomiting in my bathroom and on my couch, using my toothbrush, then proceeding to tell me how big his ex-boyfriend's dick was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 997

You deserved it 522

Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 446

You deserved it 2 445

Today, my friend and I were brushing our teeth, standing side by side. We both have a sympathy gag reflex. He brushed his tongue and gagged, which caused me to gag. So we had a never ending gag-fest until we both began throwing up and couldn't stop until one of us could manage to hold it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 163

You deserved it 3 091