Miscellaneous: Today, I bought a safe. I put all of my most prized possessions...

By smarty - 16/10/2009 21:02 - United States

Today, I bought a safe. I put all of my most prized possessions in it, including all of my jewelry, family heirlooms and important papers. Oh, and just before I locked it up, I put the key to the safe in there too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 617

You deserved it 50 246

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By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 118

You deserved it 3 104

By seththing - 22/05/2016 03:49

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 111

You deserved it 3 178

By Professional - 29/05/2017 14:00

Today, I was fed up with things being taken from my room so I installed a key-locking handle on my door. I installed everything but the door knobs, and because I was worried that I would put the two of them on backwards, I closed the door to check. I'm now locked in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 235

You deserved it 4 057

By Anonymous - 03/10/2009 12:29 - United States

Today, I spent the entire day packing my car full of boxes for my move tomorrow. When I finally finished, I realized I didn't have the car key. It's inside one of the boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 714

You deserved it 32 204

The cheek!

By Anonymous - 01/06/2014 16:36 - Germany - Ammerndorf

Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 990

You deserved it 5 298

By Anonymous - 21/07/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 403

You deserved it 60 598

By Anonymous - 25/05/2013 04:50 - United States - Clifton

Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 603

You deserved it 18 325

By mmoments - 17/11/2015 19:01 - United States

Today, I took a picture of the combination to my new lock so I would always have it on my phone if I ever forgot it. I put my phone in my gym locker, locked it with the new lock, then promptly forgot the combination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 919

You deserved it 26 784

By phansmootchie - 20/12/2011 08:14 - United States

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 309

You deserved it 37 456

By Anonymous - 12/11/2008 08:10 - France

Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 943

You deserved it 11 418

PaperShreds 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 2:06

Don't you need the key to lock it? If not, shouldn't you at least have a spare? At least now you can use it like those old fashioned piggy banks. Smash it! But in your case, you may need to use a diamond saw.

Lkdude77 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 2:06

Dumbass!!

Comments

wingedspiritus 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 7:04

Now it's completely safe! :D

charlesdogg 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 7:09

Classic or a we got liar on our hands

postaltubealex 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 7:24

Surely there is a way in. Call the manufacturer.

lespaulhero 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 7:40

Sounds like someone should invest in a blowtorch...

GoTs 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 7:42

Dumbass of the year award.

xobaby 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 7:42

don't you get 2 keys?

Ninjaface 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 8:12

Ah, I see you're thinking one step ahead of most people. After all, do you really trust yourself not to steal your stuff?

RHOPKINS13 2

Saturday 17 October 2009 8:56

Hey, you just gave me a GREAT idea! I'm going to start building safes without keys! Once you close them, they'll never open again! No safe can be more secure than the one that it's owner can't get into!

joHnnycsU 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 9:01

wait... so you just decided "I think I'm going to toss my key in there and then lock it up"? sounds to me like deep inside, you don't even trust yourself. Good luck trying to open it up.