Animals: Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still... - FML

By sting - 06/12/2014 01:32 - United States - Valencia

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 658

You deserved it 16 479

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Same thing different taste

Creepy

By Username - 03/10/2011 17:58 - United States

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 510

You deserved it 3 368

Pincushion

By Anonymous - 28/04/2020 23:00

Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 2 049

By flipflap - 14/06/2015 06:35

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 325

You deserved it 7 120

Psssssych!

By Welcome to Florida - 20/07/2017 13:01

Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 340

You deserved it 539

Winds of change

By sting - 03/06/2017 04:00

Today, I stepped on a glue trap for scorpions. Bare foot. There was a scorpion already caught on it. It wasn't dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 072

You deserved it 736

Slasher

By Anonymous - 24/09/2020 08:01 - United States - Elk Grove

Today, I made some burritos when a photo frame fell and smashed over my pan. I'm pretty broke so I thought I got all the glass out of the meat and ate some. I reheated the meat for dinner too and well, I found the glass that time... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 916

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 25/06/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend's recently mated tarantula disappeared from her enclosure with her egg sac, so she's now somewhere in the house with between 20 and 100 babies hatching within a week. I moved out this afternoon. My boyfriend caused this, he can damn well find her before I set foot in there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 25/05/2015 16:10 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 449

You deserved it 8 375

By Anonymous - 29/05/2018 02:33

Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 552

You deserved it 1 002

Spider-man

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 16:00

Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 1 321

Next

Top comments

colton_colton 49

Saturday 6 December 2014 16:04

You will once you sit down

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Saturday 6 December 2014 16:06

I wouldn't be able to sleep... I hope you can find them. Look in quiet dark places and don't stick your hands anywhere you can't see!

Comments

flowerpowergirl 10

Sunday 7 December 2014 22:56

well, you kinda deserve that... scorpions aren't supposed to be held and they are no pets.

squideth 18

Monday 8 December 2014 0:07

It's so cute coming to the comment section and seeing so many people patting themselves on the back for not liking scorpions. People just loooove to think of themselves as superior to others based on their pathetic little preferences. Congrats, you don't like scorpions, no one ******* cares.

yerrkiddingme 2

Monday 8 December 2014 2:48

ewww have. fun

lholifield23 12

Monday 8 December 2014 3:11

Who the crap has pet scorpions?

donutcallmethat 16

Monday 8 December 2014 3:53

Good luck, Hagrid.

spn_castle4 14

Monday 8 December 2014 6:51

Do you happen to be from Australia? Lol. Good luck finding them.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Monday 8 December 2014 13:48

Pet scorpions?

ShunGokuSatsu 5

Tuesday 9 December 2014 20:56

they escaped to the Netherrealm to be with their fiery brethren

FoxHunt9119 19

Tuesday 16 December 2014 3:14

Make sure to sweep your bed out.

kevvleven11 5

Wednesday 17 December 2014 22:58

Time to nope out of there.

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Today, I found out that my grandson is actually my stepson, my son is his half-brother, and my soon to be ex-husband impregnated our son’s wife, who’s a third his age. Yet somehow my slimy ex is the victim in all this because our son beat him to a bloody pulp while I did nothing to stop it. FML

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Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 59 712

Today, I had my first concert and was really anxious about screwing up my performance. Good news: I played fine. Bad news: as I walked off the stage, I tripped over my own feet, face-planted the floor, and busted my nose open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 771

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Today, my boyfriend is 34 years-old. We’ve been together for 5 years. He refuses to propose to me because “marriage is expensive” and “kids drain your wallet.” That would be understandable if he hasn’t spent the majority of his paychecks on March Madness. FML

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Today, almost half of my birthday party invitees are refusing to attend, simply because my mother-in-law is going to be there, and their hatred of her Karen-like behaviour is greater than their desire to celebrate my birthday. FML

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Today, after three weeks of suffering from COVID, I returned to work. I met with my boss, and was written up for absenteeism. Oh, and we're closing early because there are ongoing riots. Oh, and we lost the contract and I'm unemployed in three weeks. FML

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You deserved it 284

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML

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