By Rari - 09/06/2016 16:04 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I broke up with my fiancé after he cheated on me, and he now refuses to move out of the apartment. I'm even contemplating just offering him my Xbox One as a bribe so I can get him out of my life for good. FML
I agree, your life sucks 15 062
You deserved it 1 288

Same thing different taste

Top comments

He'll have to sleep sometime. When he does, move his ass outside and lock the door.

It's moments like these I'd heavily consider the possibility that I'm living inside a Microsoft ad, OP.

Comments

Soooo this may be *slightly* illegal, but here's my idea. Pretend like you forgave him. When he trusts you, cook dinner. Put sleeping pills in the pasta sauce and have him eat a bunch - guilt him into eating if you need to. He'll pass out. Get one of your buddies to drive him to a motel room or the like, make sure it's hundreds of miles away. Prepay with cash so it's anonymous. Put him in the bed there, dump all his stuff in the room, and leave a note (all caps or typed) saying if he ***** with you again, he won't wake up. Make sure to wear gloves at all times so your fingerprints can't be traced. Meanwhile, you need to get a döppelganger to take your passport and be in another part of the country so that your alibi is rock-solid. Follow these steps exactly and I guarantee he will not mess with you again.

NoThanks999 19

And tell your family to play along, extra believable.

Can you get a hotel room without a card on file for incidentals in this day and age?

I'm sure there are "hourly" motels that don't require a credit card.

Let's write film scripts together!!

tiger820 20

holy shit you scared me with this!

Lct1196 31

Unless it is solely your apartment, and you aren't renting it together, then you might have to be the bigger person and move out first. Even though he is a complete jackass, he still has a right to live there.

Who's name is on the papers for the flat? If it's your name then you can call authorities. I'd say let him have the xbox (PC gamer here) and come join the master race :P

He sounds like a real winner. If only I could get kicked out of my house..

You never sacrifice the XB1 for someone who is too childish to accept his fate. Call the non emergency police line and have him removed for trespassing.

Call the police or just move out. You'll find something to make this right op

MBrabs1996 22

If your name is on the lease, I believe you or the land lord has to give him a months notice and if he doesn't get out, call the cops

Based off how OP worded it, and the fact that they were engaged; then most likely both of their names are on the lease. And if that's the case there's nothing she can do, unless he either does something that violates the lease, or OP is the one who moves out.

Wait till he leaves then throw all his stuff out and maybe "accidentally" break some of his stuff.

If it's your apartment, just call the cops.