Health: Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up...

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By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 680

You deserved it 27 510

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/01/2012 05:50 - United States

Today, I was cleaning my room and set my burnt out light bulb on my computer chair without any second thought. Later, I sat on the chair, the light bulb shattered and I got a huge gash on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 677

You deserved it 30 916

Baked

By Monty - 01/03/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 530

You deserved it 15 622

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 490

You deserved it 145

By foolmetwice - 16/05/2011 14:28

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 097

You deserved it 40 112

By SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 111

You deserved it 1 192

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 489

You deserved it 6 970

Headshot

By home owner - 20/08/2010 06:14 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head, while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water, but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 757

You deserved it 3 365

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 218

You deserved it 52 402

By teflon_hammer - 25/05/2016 23:19 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 927

You deserved it 1 205

By ouchieouch - 07/01/2011 18:14 - United States

Today, I burned myself while cooking, so I asked my mom to get the burn cream while I waited in the kitchen. While I was waiting, I absentmindedly set my hand on the hot stove, earning myself a second burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 368

You deserved it 42 863

biggestfan23 11

Monday 12 March 2012 15:40

I like burned butts and I cannot lie!

sqeakyclean 7

Monday 12 March 2012 15:51

What's the matter with you?

Comments

friisen_ 0

Monday 12 March 2012 17:13

So you took a bath to re-heat? O_o

naduskalove 3

Monday 12 March 2012 17:29

Ass on fire , ouch !

jaredofmo 22

Monday 12 March 2012 17:37

Are you Popeye the sailor man? Do you live in a garbage can? Because when you turn on the heater, It sure burns your seater.

fmlahahaha 5

Monday 12 March 2012 17:47

Maybe you should consider buying a heated towel rack?? Lol

x_Just_Ellie_x 8

Monday 12 March 2012 17:50

Pics or it didn't happen.

prettyboodoll33 2

Monday 12 March 2012 17:57

I've done that.!!!

ninjduck 0

Monday 12 March 2012 18:04

Haha smart one

skullcandifiedDJ 5

Monday 12 March 2012 18:12

OHHhh you got BURNED. Sigh* I seriously need to get better jokes...

navychick2 10

Monday 12 March 2012 18:20

Ive done that when i was younger.

Pandacupcakelove 26

Monday 12 March 2012 18:27

Whyyy? -.-

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The Top

Today, I went to the bank to get a temporary debit card, since I lost my wallet a week ago. On my drive across the street from the bank to the DMV, a car slammed into mine at the intersection, nearly totaling my car. The movie theater I went to last week just called and said they'd found my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 725

You deserved it 3 601

Today, my sister and brother in law went on holiday, so my 3 year-old nephew is staying with me while they’re gone. He walked in on me and my boyfriend while he was eating me out. It’s been an hour and he won’t stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 1 574

The Top

Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 506

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he said he needed to be with someone smart so that he could impress his parents. I just got accepted into medical school. When I pointed that out to him, he added that he needed to be with someone attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 759

You deserved it 4 683

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 920

You deserved it 44 884

Today, we got on the plane for our honeymoon and her parents were on the same damn plane, going to the same spa resort, in the room next door, and my wife has the nerve to tell me it was a coincidence. How we supposed to get our sexy freak on, sharing a bedroom wall with her repressed mother? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 723

You deserved it 206

Today, I found out that conducting CPR and saving a man's life means nothing if you break his ribs. He is suing me for $10,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 499

You deserved it 424

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 235

You deserved it 3 292

Same thing different taste

Baked

Third degree

Headshot

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