Health: Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up... - FML

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By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 680

You deserved it 27 510

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/01/2012 05:50 - United States

Today, I was cleaning my room and set my burnt out light bulb on my computer chair without any second thought. Later, I sat on the chair, the light bulb shattered and I got a huge gash on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 677

You deserved it 30 916

Baked

By Monty - 01/03/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 530

You deserved it 15 622

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 490

You deserved it 145

By foolmetwice - 16/05/2011 14:28

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 097

You deserved it 40 112

By SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 111

You deserved it 1 192

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 489

You deserved it 6 970

Headshot

By home owner - 20/08/2010 06:14 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head, while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water, but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 757

You deserved it 3 365

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 218

You deserved it 52 402

By teflon_hammer - 25/05/2016 23:19 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 927

You deserved it 1 205

By ouchieouch - 07/01/2011 18:14 - United States

Today, I burned myself while cooking, so I asked my mom to get the burn cream while I waited in the kitchen. While I was waiting, I absentmindedly set my hand on the hot stove, earning myself a second burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 368

You deserved it 42 863

Next

Top comments

biggestfan23 11

Monday 12 March 2012 15:40

I like burned butts and I cannot lie!

sqeakyclean 7

Monday 12 March 2012 15:51

What's the matter with you?

Comments

emmaweeee 0

Tuesday 13 March 2012 2:30

why... after just getting out of the shower did you assume it was a good idea to place your naked ass on a heater in order to warm up?

SooInnLovee 6

Tuesday 13 March 2012 3:50

If I'm cold after my shower I either get dried and dressed really fast or dry off fast and get under my blankets ;) I never ever thought hey lets mozy on over to the heater and either A) burn my ass or B) set my towel on fire and burn down the house. Haha ydi but I still feel kinda bad you can't help it you're unintelligent :p

vampiresam9097 5

Tuesday 13 March 2012 5:03

At least you warmed up :)

mizzblondey1313 7

Tuesday 13 March 2012 6:16

haha I did the exact same thing when I was little. I still have the scar:/

cwbsmoker 5

Tuesday 13 March 2012 7:24

Hehehe(:

goddamniluvme 0

Tuesday 13 March 2012 8:10

Dumb dumb dumb....

KRS_13 0

Tuesday 13 March 2012 11:45

I've done that once..i know your pain OP..

WOGBRO 6

Tuesday 13 March 2012 12:02

At least it wasn't your testi's

sparklethelette 6

Tuesday 13 March 2012 14:44

I did the same thing only I accidentally burned two big holes in my fluffy pj pants. Only took a few seconds, I noticed just in time!

lionpann 3

Tuesday 13 March 2012 15:04

you are so cute but not FML

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The Top

Today, I was flirting with this cute girl from Croatia who is part of the my exchange group in Holland. After a few beers and some smooth talking, she led me inside to a closed off room. We were about to have sex when her boyfriend of two years called and proposed to her. FML

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You deserved it 22 247

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You deserved it 3 363

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 5 574

You deserved it 1 453

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I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 210

Today, I was enjoying a rare lazy Sunday afternoon nap when I woke up to a loud thud. My cat, who had been silently plotting his next move, jumped on my chest and knocked over my glass of water. Now my entire bed is soaked, my phone is possibly ruined, and my cat is looking at me like I was the one who did something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 152

Today, I was working out on a horse farm. I slipped and fell on some ice, whacking my head on the metal gate in the process. As I was getting up, I accidentally grabbed the electric fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 980

You deserved it 3 915

Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 820

You deserved it 4 445

Today, just like every day for the past two weeks, my mother has told me just how much she doesn't want me to move out. I, once again, have had to remind her that she isn't the one I'm trying to get away from. I'm not a fan of being repeatedly smacked with a coffee mug by my 78-year-old grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 884

You deserved it 204