Love: Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has...

By immaturity all around - 31/03/2013 17:55 - United States

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 767

You deserved it 6 984

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Same thing different taste

By Pissed - 21/09/2012 23:20 - United States - Newton Center

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 569

You deserved it 2 888

By bastard magnet - 02/10/2011 22:14 - United States

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 097

You deserved it 7 961

By heartbroken - 14/07/2012 01:41 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 638

You deserved it 2 828

This is fine

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 699

You deserved it 5 699

By Random - 25/02/2016 22:09 - United States - Tuskegee

Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 261

You deserved it 4 520

Freaked

By Anonymous - 12/06/2023 15:00

Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 170

By quit fucking up my life - 23/11/2013 01:08 - United States - Kenai

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 658

You deserved it 4 922

By -_- - 14/06/2014 03:56 - Australia - Elwood

Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 532

You deserved it 4 973

Great, just great

By Norwegian - 02/06/2012 16:55 - Norway

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 063

You deserved it 7 478

thefmlinator 10

Monday 1 April 2013 3:18

I'd do what he says

tabletoplady 11

Monday 1 April 2013 3:20

Your dad is my hero.

Comments

DntLookBack 29

Monday 1 April 2013 4:14

What do you mean "seemingly sympathetic"? Clearly he was sympathetic listening to you and then came up with an awesome plan of action!

gman123999 14

Monday 1 April 2013 4:16

Also I don't remember where I read this but if you bury the body/bodies under a dog's body then when the cop's search dog digs up the the dead dog the cops will think it was a false positive and won't suspect you!

limitedition 25

Monday 1 April 2013 4:17

In this case father doesn't know best. You'll do much better to just move on & choose to be happy

MidnaLink 33

Monday 1 April 2013 4:21

If you ever run into the little bitch, and she's pregnant from him, you have my express permission to castrate him.

bReLiNg 18

Monday 1 April 2013 4:24

At least he was trying... :) pick yourself up OP and find a new man worth your time!

katejones 8

Monday 1 April 2013 4:25

Does the girl he is cheating with know he is with you? If not contact her and plan the following: when he plans to see her at her place go hide in her bathroom and at some point switch places with her. ( I suggest before any sex happens, best in the dark for full effect- don't talk let him figure out its someone else ). Hopefully you will both dump his ass and he will freak and never be able to cheat again without the fear of this happening.

EsotericBrent 29

Monday 1 April 2013 4:29

Can't. Freaking. Wait.

ckoal 3

Monday 1 April 2013 4:29

How is this an FML... That's a good dad man

NeinKittenz 20

Monday 1 April 2013 4:32

Nobody said you can't have a three way with dead bodies!

NeinKittenz 20

Monday 1 April 2013 6:20

Nobody said you had to write that comment, bitch.

roxxyfoxxy3 25

Monday 1 April 2013 4:36

He's probably trying to cheer you up! I'd be happy for you, your dad cares. :3 anyway, good luck OP! Oh, and sorry about your boyfriend. There are plenty of fish in the sea!