Love: Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering...

By DrakeScott - 02/11/2011 18:14 - United States

Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering the eHarmony dating questionnaire, only to be told my answers were too "unique" for them to match me with anyone. I had chosen "the world" as my distance range. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 994

You deserved it 5 851

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Same thing different taste

By Rajin - 23/03/2009 20:38 - Canada

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125 824

You deserved it 16 863

By Anon - 13/06/2009 05:17 - United States

Today, I realized that I've been a member of eHarmony for almost a year. No one has ever contacted me out of the 134 people I've been "scientifically" matched with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 547

You deserved it 7 314

By looking - 25/09/2009 18:16 - United States

Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 400

You deserved it 17 642

By z - 05/11/2009 17:20 - United States

Today, I re-joined a popular on-line dating service. I first signed up 3 years ago and was matched with a wonderful woman. After about a year, she broke up with me. I was devastated. After two years of trying to win her back, I decided it's best just to move on. Guess who they matched me with? FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 478

You deserved it 5 454

Tinder Surprise

By betrayed - 19/07/2010 17:36 - United States

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 726

You deserved it 6 480

Women be smiling

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 03:00

Today, it's not enough that men IRL tell me to smile, now the dating apps have OK'd this and decided it's fine to send me email with a stock phrase saying, "[Match's name] wants to see you smile back!" Online dating is the bane of my existence but also my best bet for not being single forever. Curse you, eHarmony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 298

Dating apps are hopeless

By Anonymous - 28/02/2023 04:00 - Norway

Today, after seeing that my Tinder profile has been stagnant for a VERY long time, I became desperate enough to purchase a 100x boost. The result? One of the girls unmatched me. Not that it matters. All my matches have yet to answer back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 287

By Anonymous - 19/01/2012 19:45 - United States

Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 428

You deserved it 5 392

Lonely, so lonely

By Anonymous - 01/12/2020 05:02

Today, after a nice Thanksgiving with my parents, and the usual question about when I'll bring a woman with me to meet them, I absentmindedly launched the usual dating app. I swiped completely dry with no matches, reminding myself that my entire city doesn't have one person interested in dating me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 1 098

By Jakub89 - 05/06/2011 20:31 - Canada

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 162

You deserved it 7 587

DoctorWhooves 6

Wednesday 2 November 2011 23:53

... try the Solar System?

slsrox1298 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 23:54

lol thats better than the girl who was paired with her brother lol

Comments

porkokorko 2

Thursday 3 November 2011 0:44

I'd have to speculate that it has something to do with you using words like arduous. :D

zombicidal 11

Thursday 3 November 2011 0:47

at least you didn't get paired with your brother

Yudith_fml 6

Thursday 3 November 2011 0:48

If you become a monk, become a Buddhist one. They can marry, and you will be a hit in yoga classes.

tigrouficele2012 44

Thursday 3 November 2011 0:51

Xeedle gworp, zaa zurple gweex noo? 9

tigrouficele2012 44

Thursday 3 November 2011 0:57

Translation: Hey baby, looking for a good time, Mars-style? ;) (Ignore the fact that half my comment vanished and I had to finish it in a reply...)

diashi120 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 0:57

lol i did that crap too and they gave me a refund stating i wasnt suited to long term relationships

AhouKaho 11

Thursday 3 November 2011 1:01

I feel your pain, same thing happened to me D:

smithjoa 2

Thursday 3 November 2011 1:02

I got the same answer so don't worry eharmoney is just silly :)

coolstorybro6969 6

Thursday 3 November 2011 1:02

Pretty sure in this case "unique"="weird"

bubo_fml 10

Thursday 3 November 2011 1:04

Time to take matters into your own hands...Be prepared for poor eyesight & new hair growth on your palms...

doctor_awesome 8

Thursday 3 November 2011 1:08

Yeah, meet them yourself. Pretend it's the 90's.

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, we were running late because my hair got tangled in the curtains. My mother-in-law got so angry, she hacked at it, leaving me with a bald patch, then went and sat in the car as though we were still going anywhere with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 094

You deserved it 200

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 145

The Top

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 185

You deserved it 53 784

Today, after I tried to plan a surprise party for my friend, and a series of miscommunications and accidental reveals, it turned it into a surprise party for myself. I walked into a room filled with people shouting, "Surprise!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 194

Sucking at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something!

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 82

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 976

You deserved it 15 773

Today, my friends and I were acting out porn scenes without sex. Then, I realized that we all watch too much porn, and we are still all virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 2 465

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 315

You deserved it 19 283