Intimacy: Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now... - FML

By still learning - 26/02/2012 17:42 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 056

You deserved it 7 962

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

Slicy slicy

By ChloeLuvzAnime - 30/03/2021 17:01

Spicy

Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 270

By JasonX0656 - 29/01/2017 06:00 - United States - Kalamazoo

Today, my fiancé asked me to do some manscaping. I got a little overzealous and now I look like a 12-year-old boy with razor burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 714

You deserved it 1 577

By tylerlove361 - 11/02/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 077

You deserved it 34 031

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 115

You deserved it 13 416

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 19:15 - Italy - Catanzaro

Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 786

You deserved it 7 710

By scaryhairy - 04/11/2009 01:44 - United States

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 000

You deserved it 5 183

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 981

First dates

By Tytonic - 20/01/2020 05:00 - United States - Havertown

Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 863

You deserved it 412

By nickthetank - 31/12/2011 09:21 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 968

You deserved it 12 240

So painful

By Anonymous - 30/01/2020 03:00

Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 564

You deserved it 435

Next

Top comments

Xquisite1 28

Monday 27 February 2012 1:50

Wow! Balls the size of a globe....now tell me--How do you find underwear to fit your massive man globes?

skitzofunia88 8

Monday 27 February 2012 1:53

His balls genius

Comments

faith94m 5

Tuesday 28 February 2012 9:19

I first read this as "shaving my ear lobes" and wondered why that was even necessary.

sarahlovesyewxD 8

Tuesday 28 February 2012 14:38

DYAC?

twkusn05 0

Wednesday 29 February 2012 6:03

Anyone who refers to their balls as globes deserves to have their balls cut for being such a douchebag

joylee23 0

Friday 2 March 2012 23:59

Thats not sad it's funny

mcinnesandrew 6

Sunday 4 March 2012 5:54

Didn't he shave hedges, tell her to shave

Cosmic_Horror 1

Thursday 8 March 2012 3:13

This is either hilarious or she needs to stop, depending on how persistent she is being.

KRiddle 15

Tuesday 13 March 2012 0:29

Well... I kinda laughed and kinda felt bad.

hoffmanam 13

Sunday 3 March 2013 15:18

I just hate when that happens. I'm kidding that doesn't happen to me because I don't SUCK

bomzoo 3

Tuesday 3 February 2015 9:09

'In case you didn't know, globes=pubes Auto-correct. Also, is says "fisted" by Edward scissor hands so it'd be a bit more likely that she is female. Have fun down-voting this to oblivion.

Sakuragenkai 4

Thursday 14 January 2016 20:35

She's marriage material

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The Top

Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 140

Today, I went to see a therapist for the first time because I've been feeling depressed lately. I opened up and said everything that was on my mind. I really spilled my guts. After a good 30 minutes, her first question was, "Do you always talk this much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 326

You deserved it 7 876

The Top

Today, I finally got up the nerve to leave my boyfriend. We have no spark and quite honestly, it's been really awkward. I planned to tell him when he came in, and I did. After all was said and done, he handed me the roses and new puppy he had bought for me, a puppy that I had been saving up to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 221

You deserved it 1 326

Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 028

You deserved it 3 034

Today, my mum went and told everyone she only went to the doctor after being ill because my brother told her to. It was me who'd been telling her for weeks to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 89

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 421

You deserved it 3 571

Today, my friend, who had begged me to buy them a plane ticket after being stranded overseas, blocked me. They didn't even use the ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 717

You deserved it 505

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 170

You deserved it 4 699