Miscellaneous: Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes...

By Bill - 18/08/2011 23:44 - United States

Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 653

You deserved it 2 804

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Same thing different taste

By rainydays79 - 23/01/2010 19:12 - United States

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 432

You deserved it 60 052

By poopboy - 16/01/2017 10:49

Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 363

You deserved it 859

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 875

You deserved it 2 846

Creepy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 278

You deserved it 2 528

By arrrrggggghhhh - 04/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 112

You deserved it 5 187

By SinkyBalls - 30/08/2011 03:56 - Canada

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 691

You deserved it 2 816

Drugs are bad

By Mike Capobianco - 22/08/2021 02:01

Today, I came home to to find my roommate spinning on a computer chair, shitting everywhere. He'd taken Peyote. Now the whole place smells of poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 85

By damn - 09/04/2014 21:12 - United States - Kenton

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 481

You deserved it 8 031

By public pooper - 25/04/2013 00:16 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 398

You deserved it 15 240

By AcademicAdvisor - 25/04/2016 20:14 - United States - Boston

Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 890

You deserved it 1 132

luvppl 6

Friday 19 August 2011 2:20

Hey, it's a conversation starter. :)

WCARlover 34

Friday 19 August 2011 2:29

More like a conversation ender...

Comments

airborn54 0

Friday 19 August 2011 2:28

What's so bad about that?

ifailplzinsultme 0

Friday 19 August 2011 2:29

"Ahhhh! Shit Drew is coming out now! Get the camera!"

Amrel 10

Friday 19 August 2011 2:30

Thats very "shitty"

GraceKathryn97 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 0:02

Haha

timmyliao 5

Friday 19 August 2011 2:33

u got one lonely roomate :D

ashleylucky16 6

Friday 19 August 2011 2:49

Who's to say he's not just sensitive and/or passionate about every, I mean EVERY aspect in his life. If you ask me, this roommate is totally boss.

ljcarranza 16

Friday 19 August 2011 2:37

hey as long as hes not naming them after you...

ashleylucky16 6

Friday 19 August 2011 2:45

Bahahaha your awesome.

pfx2_fml 15

Friday 19 August 2011 2:37

Wish I was that cool.

androiddestroya 7

Friday 19 August 2011 5:09

oh well, guess you're not. :/

enopola 5

Friday 19 August 2011 14:53

Yeah your not, enjoy your parents basement when your forty.

ImmaB3AST 7

Friday 19 August 2011 2:43

Bet the girls come knockin on his door.

Souners 3

Friday 19 August 2011 2:44

Start calling him by his latest shit.

ashleylucky16 6

Friday 19 August 2011 2:47

winning. Nuff said.

IanMoone3611 12

Friday 19 August 2011 2:47

Wonderful. And now you can never complain of a boring life

Keywords

Work Health Awkward Money Relatable Technology Singing Miscellaneous Embarrassing Kids Parents Party AITA Sex Love Am I overreacting? Cute Revenge My ex Mental health Ironic Covid Weird Clothes Bullying Coffee Social Media Instagram Scary Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of five years has been cheating on me with other women from all the hickeys and scratch marks he has. But to top it off, he's slowly been moving out for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 247

Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 971

You deserved it 1 921

The Top

Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 479

You deserved it 67 578

Today, due to the pandemic and living alone, I finally had some physical human contact for the first time in six months for my dental checkup. Which was also the last contact I had almost a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 112

Today, my wedding limo driver got high and forgot to pick us up, so the photographers gave us a ride back to the venue from the photo shoot. Three bridesmaids, a flower girl, and I, in my full wedding dress, had to fit in the back of the 1997 Toyota Camry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 638

You deserved it 388

Today, my son has a broken arm and is crying because he wants to take the cast off. As soon as he stops crying, my stepson starts crying because he wants a cast too. My wife is also crying, because she feels guilty that our son broke his arm. Six weeks until the cast comes off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 135

Today, I found out that even after three years, my boyfriend's mother replies, "Unfortunately" when asked if we are still together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 587

You deserved it 4 154

Today, poorly applied makeup made it look like I have a black eye in most of my wedding photos. I would have laughed it off, but I was showing them to my brother who was deployed during the actual wedding. He saw the black eye, assumed it was domestic abuse, and attacked my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 160

Same thing different taste

Creepy

Drugs are bad

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