Miscellaneous: Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes... - FML

By Bill - 18/08/2011 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 656

You deserved it 2 805

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Same thing different taste

By rainydays79 - 23/01/2010 19:12 - United States

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 432

You deserved it 60 055

By poopboy - 16/01/2017 10:49

Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 364

You deserved it 859

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 877

You deserved it 2 846

Creepy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 282

You deserved it 2 528

By arrrrggggghhhh - 04/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 114

You deserved it 5 188

By SinkyBalls - 30/08/2011 03:56 - Canada

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 693

You deserved it 2 816

Drugs are bad

By Mike Capobianco - 22/08/2021 02:01

Today, I came home to to find my roommate spinning on a computer chair, shitting everywhere. He'd taken Peyote. Now the whole place smells of poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 85

By damn - 09/04/2014 21:12 - United States - Kenton

Spicy

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 481

You deserved it 8 031

By public pooper - 25/04/2013 00:16 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 400

You deserved it 15 240

By AcademicAdvisor - 25/04/2016 20:14 - United States - Boston

Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 891

You deserved it 1 133

Next

Top comments

luvppl 6

Friday 19 August 2011 2:20

Hey, it's a conversation starter. :)

WCARlover 34

Friday 19 August 2011 2:29

More like a conversation ender...

Comments

nattypooOIE 0

Friday 19 August 2011 4:55

LOL!!(:

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Friday 19 August 2011 4:57

I watched that yesterday! :O so creepy.. If anyone tries to eat me when I die I'm coming back to haunt them ;D

BigMacBoi 3

Friday 19 August 2011 5:02

Hurrican SewerClog!

kbt13 0

Friday 19 August 2011 5:10

if i'm bothering you, just say it to my face

blahka101 0

Friday 19 August 2011 5:13

urm... strange. haha

Maddyexoh 7

Friday 19 August 2011 5:21

is it just me or ha this FML already been on here before..

katieklein 0

Friday 19 August 2011 5:22

What happens when she runs outta ashes? she gonna kill somebody and then eat their ashes?

ImmaB3AST 7

Friday 19 August 2011 5:26

Isn't this the same girl that thought 'jerking' was the dance...

GraceKathryn97 0

Friday 19 August 2011 5:34

Haha that's so Gross, but I'm use to that kina stuff, my two brothers are disgusting! They go in MY bathroom to shit and they leve it in the toilet so I'll have to flush it! :

acb3 0

Friday 19 August 2011 5:44

I think I know that guy! LOL

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The Top

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 596

You deserved it 9 210

The Top

Today, my man believes he could never be the cause of a breakup. His strategy for eternal love? Try not to feel anything, and if you do, do NOT show it or talk about it. Just completely refuse to engage with your partner in any meaningful way. No fighting equals happiness. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 250

Today, my girlfriend told me she'd support my decision to stay in, or get out of the military, so I renewed my contract...... She broke up with me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 226

You deserved it 309

Today, my girlfriend won’t give me oral because she doesn't like pubes, so I trimmed them; she refused again because they felt prickly, so I waxed them. Now she says I look like a little boy. If she doesn’t want to suck cock, why won’t she just say so instead of hinting she might if I shaved? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 388

Today, I found out my new puppy has worms by him scooting his butt across my new carpet. It's like smeared spaghetti. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 143

You deserved it 2 716

Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 255

You deserved it 2 579

Today, I woke up from a horrible nightmare. What was it about? Me accidentally scratching a non-stick pan with my utility knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 429

You deserved it 6 641