Miscellaneous: Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes...

By Bill - 18/08/2011 23:44 - United States

Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 656

You deserved it 2 805

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Same thing different taste

By rainydays79 - 23/01/2010 19:12 - United States

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 432

You deserved it 60 055

By poopboy - 16/01/2017 10:49

Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 364

You deserved it 859

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 877

You deserved it 2 846

Creepy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 282

You deserved it 2 528

By arrrrggggghhhh - 04/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 114

You deserved it 5 188

By SinkyBalls - 30/08/2011 03:56 - Canada

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 693

You deserved it 2 816

Drugs are bad

By Mike Capobianco - 22/08/2021 02:01

Today, I came home to to find my roommate spinning on a computer chair, shitting everywhere. He'd taken Peyote. Now the whole place smells of poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 85

By damn - 09/04/2014 21:12 - United States - Kenton

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 481

You deserved it 8 031

By public pooper - 25/04/2013 00:16 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 400

You deserved it 15 240

By AcademicAdvisor - 25/04/2016 20:14 - United States - Boston

Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 891

You deserved it 1 133

luvppl 6

Friday 19 August 2011 2:20

Hey, it's a conversation starter. :)

WCARlover 34

Friday 19 August 2011 2:29

More like a conversation ender...

Comments

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 19 August 2011 2:49

Mr. Hanky

daxter136 0

Friday 19 August 2011 2:56

Ghost poop, Timmy toot toot, slimy, whitey(from drinking too much), brownie, blacky, stringy, biggie, green, Paris Hilton, George bush, Obama, gasser, gassy, [your name here]

itsbridgetbtch17 2

Friday 19 August 2011 2:57

ah hell.

manic_maniac11 13

Friday 19 August 2011 3:01

It could be worse :P

colorfullyemo 4

Friday 19 August 2011 3:14

consider you're self lucky, my dad yells out updates.

itsallgoodintheh 0

Friday 19 August 2011 3:18

Well I have no idea what that even means!!

androiddestroya 7

Friday 19 August 2011 5:03

trololololol :)) u mad bro?

itsallgoodintheh 0

Friday 19 August 2011 15:12

That's not very nice!!

neimato1 0

Friday 19 August 2011 3:19

****** akward

ADub55 0

Friday 19 August 2011 3:20

I hate when that happens.

btbamfan75 0

Friday 19 August 2011 3:23

atleast he doesnt show them to you

ffcloudforever 0

Friday 19 August 2011 4:13

Maybe he does...ew much??

manbearpig7173 0

Friday 19 August 2011 3:37

One of these days he's gonna use your name for one of his *****...

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 060

You deserved it 13 424

Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 77

The Top

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 408

You deserved it 6 017

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because he won’t stop inappropriately talking to other girls on social media. We live together and have 6 months left on our apartment lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 683

You deserved it 265

Today, I had a second date with a really hot guy I met at the mall. Lucky for me, I went into anaphylactic shock from shrimp and the guy called my parents. When I left the hospital, I was notified that after he called my parents, he ordered more food and charged it to my credit card on file. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 900

You deserved it 1 652

Today, I called to see if my bridesmaid's dress was ready. They told me it had already been picked up, the bride's mom picked up the dress and got rid of it because she doesn't want me in the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 602

You deserved it 1 267

Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 269

You deserved it 5 075

Today, I went for like my tenth job interview this week and yet again I had some smug interviewer who expected me to have an expert level answer to every question he asked me, and yet when I asked him about salary all he would tell me was it was "competitive." So probably less than 50% minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 86

Same thing different taste

Creepy

Drugs are bad

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