Miscellaneous: Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes...

By Bill - 18/08/2011 23:44 - United States

Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 653

You deserved it 2 804

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Same thing different taste

By rainydays79 - 23/01/2010 19:12 - United States

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 432

You deserved it 60 052

By poopboy - 16/01/2017 10:49

Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 363

You deserved it 859

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 875

You deserved it 2 846

Creepy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 278

You deserved it 2 528

By arrrrggggghhhh - 04/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 112

You deserved it 5 187

By SinkyBalls - 30/08/2011 03:56 - Canada

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 691

You deserved it 2 816

Drugs are bad

By Mike Capobianco - 22/08/2021 02:01

Today, I came home to to find my roommate spinning on a computer chair, shitting everywhere. He'd taken Peyote. Now the whole place smells of poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 85

By damn - 09/04/2014 21:12 - United States - Kenton

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 481

You deserved it 8 031

By public pooper - 25/04/2013 00:16 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 398

You deserved it 15 240

By AcademicAdvisor - 25/04/2016 20:14 - United States - Boston

Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 890

You deserved it 1 132

luvppl 6

Friday 19 August 2011 2:20

Hey, it's a conversation starter. :)

WCARlover 34

Friday 19 August 2011 2:29

More like a conversation ender...

Comments

Buttsexpirate 9

Friday 19 August 2011 3:39

Send him my way. A week with the crew and I and he not be pooping for at least a month. Argh!

reddawn85 8

Friday 19 August 2011 4:11

So what? The dude sounds hilarious.

ThatAkwardMoment 2

Friday 19 August 2011 4:15

*eye twitch*

sciencekidster1 8

Friday 19 August 2011 4:21

Not only is it time for a new room, my friend, but a new college.

cooltreivus 4

Friday 19 August 2011 4:29

Wow. They've had a similar FML long time ago.

HahaYDI 0

Friday 19 August 2011 4:43

Casual? As opposed to formal conversations about bowel movements? =p

margiemayhem 2

Friday 19 August 2011 7:50

Sir poop vs. my poop?

emduggs 0

Friday 19 August 2011 4:45

Wait.. Not everyone does that?

perdix 29

Friday 19 August 2011 4:50

I hope he's not introducing you to them and insisting you shake hands.

TheLastChild 8

Friday 19 August 2011 4:51

So does he alternate genders like they do with hurricanes ? :x what would a female poop look like versus a male poop?

yourkindacool18 5

Friday 19 August 2011 4:53

my strange addiction reference ^^

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Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 866

You deserved it 3 514

USA, USA, USA, and more precisely Philadelphia. That's where we're landing today. When I first discovered Justin, on 9gag or an awesome website like that, I knew exactly this little guy was perfect to fit in the FML illustrated section. His crazy, c...

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 8

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I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 148

Today, my boyfriend proudly showed me that he's put me in his favourites contact list on his phone with a heart image. Cute, but I saw another contact on the list with a heart image as well: his favourite take out restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 633

You deserved it 741

Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 167

Today, a co-worker asked me what meat we use for the drumsticks. We work in a chicken factory. This co-worker also thought that spreading out the chicken wings more evenly in the tray would increase the overall weight of the product. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 985

You deserved it 269

Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 861

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 358

You deserved it 26 546

Same thing different taste

Creepy

Drugs are bad

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