Health: Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with... - FML

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By jazthefish - 12/07/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 809

You deserved it 71 747

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Same thing different taste

By ven980 - 01/06/2011 21:21 - United States

Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 853

You deserved it 29 528

By Jared - 25/02/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 017

You deserved it 30 885

Classy

By pist off - 05/03/2018 19:00

Today, I felt rain on my face. I looked up and saw a man peeing out of a hot air balloon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 034

You deserved it 313

By E or - 13/07/2010 13:41 - United States

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 894

You deserved it 40 222

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 096

You deserved it 40 056

By doggybag - 24/09/2009 05:17 - Canada

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 779

You deserved it 80 953

No good deed, etc.

By Paul - 30/11/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I saw a little kid struggling with a balloon, so I tried to help tie it for her. It popped in my hands, and she started crying. Then her mom came running up, yelling, "What did you do to my daughter?" I had to run away while saying sorry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 143

Cool moves

By littlegirl - 07/05/2011 04:46 - Canada

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 587

You deserved it 45 368

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 764

You deserved it 73 913

Protein source

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 17:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 157

Next

Top comments

barbarajean 0

Monday 12 July 2010 23:23

Thats what you get for makin out with balloon boy. Damn pedo.

Hannalea_fml 0

Monday 12 July 2010 23:23

Someone needs a life.

Comments

Igor_g5 0

Monday 12 July 2010 23:46

You must really be desparate.

Xx_jESSii 3

Monday 12 July 2010 23:47

That's just sad...

antonman10 0

Monday 12 July 2010 23:48

lolol ydi

Ragnir 0

Monday 12 July 2010 23:49

Dang not even a balloon wants to give you a kiss lol.

Youwantwhatnow 0

Monday 12 July 2010 23:50

i love how everybody keeps giving tips. "should have used a stuffed animal", "why not use your pillow". sounds like a lot of experience in this subject.

mc013 0

Monday 12 July 2010 23:52

That's just weird. Why would you do something that stupid?

illmatic2 16

Monday 12 July 2010 23:53

39- You probably won't see this, but yes your not alone.

sk8rgirljj 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 0:00

u shouldn't have bit it. lolz

hahaiseeyou 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 0:05

well doesnt that just suck, should have practiced with a friend instead

illmatic2 16

Tuesday 13 July 2010 0:27

uhhhh practice making out with your friends?That's kinda awkward.

Anthrophobia 2

Tuesday 13 July 2010 1:01

It's awkward, but I'd take awkward over a balloon down my throat any day.

i_hate_garlic 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 0:07

so you still managed to post this on fml?

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The Top

Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 minutes. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML

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You deserved it 47 146

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 409

You deserved it 10 471

The Top

Today, I’ve had to spend $300 out of my savings account for my doctor's appointment to get another 90-day supply. Health insurance is way too expensive, as I'm a student and work part time, and haven’t had luck in finding a job. How am I supposed to save for a car in the meantime? FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 159

Today, I went to the Salvation Army to donate some clothes. As I was handing over the 4 huge bags that I had carried for 10 blocks, while 6 months pregnant, somebody stole my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 050

You deserved it 3 750

Today, I had to tell my boyfriend his dad was sending me inappropriate texts that made me feel uncomfortable. I tried to make him stop, but he kept going until I felt like I needed to tell my boyfriend. Who's now broken up with me because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 123

Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 145

Today, I started doing cardio at my local gym with a basic exercise bike because doing weightlifting by itself wasn't having an effect on my weight. Since I'm out of shape, I did 15 minutes instead of the standard 30. I had to stop at 10 minutes because my legs were so sore they nearly gave out on me when I stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 151

Today, at the end of my 10-hour shift, my manager made me count exactly how many business cards were left in inventory before I could leave. She didn't believe me when the number came to exactly 3000. She made me count them all again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 299

You deserved it 804