Intimacy: Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML - FML

By hjkashld - 24/04/2012 01:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 534

You deserved it 36 499

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 095

You deserved it 7 596

I suck

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 12:00

Today, I sucked so bad that I faked an injury during a football game to get out of playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 635

By virgo - 30/01/2010 06:50 - France

Spicy

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 243

You deserved it 6 556

By hnickell93 - 10/12/2012 18:37 - United States - Visalia

Spicy

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 865

You deserved it 12 852

By blarghhhh - 28/02/2016 14:58 - United States - Owosso

Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 063

You deserved it 1 383

Pull yourself together

By k8thagr8 - 01/03/2015 02:47 - United States - Virginia Beach

Spicy

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 274

You deserved it 3 976

By shouldabeenapornstar - 17/03/2010 15:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 238

You deserved it 40 438

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 22:55 - United States - Somerset

Spicy

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 64 584

Ouchie

By Anonymous - 17/12/2014 20:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 492

You deserved it 3 049

Deception

By Anonymous - 08/03/2021 01:59

Today, I found out my husband was faking his leg injury. I caught him out and about walking just fine, hand in hand with another woman. I’ve been caring for him, holding down the bills, and taking him to an "at home" chiropractor for the past 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 95

Next

Top comments

kzxvazure 0

Tuesday 24 April 2012 7:27

just say no....

HSOMGF 5

Tuesday 24 April 2012 7:33

That back pain is probably related to your lack of spine. And really, **** HER life. She deserves better.

Comments

Illyssa_fml 4

Monday 11 June 2012 16:47

Thats an Fherlife

randi8907 3

Wednesday 8 August 2012 16:56

hell I'll have sex with her if u don't... if u don't do it.... someone else will. don't be surprised if she cheats.

ZombieKitteh 8

Friday 26 October 2012 10:12

Probably should have told us the reason. Now you just look bad

AllowMe 2

Thursday 14 March 2013 18:45

Huh, wonder if you and my husband are the same person.

jessherself13 21

Thursday 4 April 2013 6:40

You should have just said no, there's nothing wrong with being honest OP.

jeffandjeff 22

Saturday 10 August 2013 21:01

Girls lie about their allergies acting up or that they get a headache to avoid sex and its fine but a guy does it and he's a pussy. If she gained a ton of weight I'd say no too.

singularstar 5

Tuesday 31 December 2013 19:02

I hope she read it

fantasyworld 37

Friday 29 August 2014 4:13

You can say no.

Likian5 26

Thursday 25 September 2014 0:14

F your life, or F HER life?

lux_final_spark 18

Saturday 11 July 2015 22:57

I hope she divorced you, you pussy..

Keywords

New year's day Covid Health Holidays Cats Isolation Lonely Miscellaneous Party Awkward Friends Drunk Alcohol Moving home Facebook Social Media Love Transportation Accident Cars Shopping Grandparents Bullying School Housework Money Relatable Messy Embarrassing Dad jokes

The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 64

Today, I worked construction building a hotel. I was taking out the trash when I suddenly felt an extreme urge to poop. I ran into one of the rooms and found an empty cardboard box to poop into. Finished, I closed the box and made my way to the door. I then saw my boss staring at me from the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 768

You deserved it 4 693

The Top

Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 378

You deserved it 338

Today, I finally decided to tell my partner that I was sexually harassed by another guy in high school. When I got to the point, she rolled her eyes, stopped me and said, "Why can't you just tell me something nice? I don't want to hear about it, it's triggering me." Well, thanks for your attention, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 104

Today, my sister got fired and I got promoted to her job, got a nice payrise for it. My relationship with my sister will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 685

You deserved it 340

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 084

You deserved it 53 497

Today, my mother is upset that I won’t share things with her anymore. This is the woman who spent my entire childhood gossiping about every teeny tiny detail of my life, and used my suicide attempt as a way to garner pity for herself. Yeah, no thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 129

Today, after a week of rejoicing that my petty, passive-aggressive, bullying neighbours were moving away, I came home to find the "to let" board had been outside the wrong house the whole time. It's actually the people I really like who are moving away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 017

You deserved it 983