Intimacy: Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took...

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 805

You deserved it 4 728

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 408

You deserved it 6 030

Time waster

By le_evan - 29/10/2012 20:49 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 464

You deserved it 6 699

Frustrated at work

By stillhorny - 11/08/2021 10:01

Today, my guy finally got his brother out of their house so we could try and get busy. It was going okay when he tried to put on a condom. It got soft. We messed around a little longer tried again. Then a third time. I finally just started to get dressed and he took me to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 274

You deserved it 195

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 767

You deserved it 4 416

Bad sex

By izzie - 09/05/2010 14:15 - Canada

Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 531

You deserved it 5 083

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 01:23 - Canada - Bedford

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 044

You deserved it 6 089

Anticlimax

By Deidle-dee - 26/10/2010 16:37 - United States

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 994

You deserved it 4 702

By Anonymous - 18/08/2018 03:30

Today, I had sex with a guy I'd had a crush on for a long time. When I asked if he was having trouble putting it in, he answered that he was fully in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 045

You deserved it 672

Quickie

By tina - 22/11/2019 20:00

Today, I finally had sex with my new boyfriend, well… penetration anyway. Turns out, he has premature ejaculation, and no idea how bad at sex he is. He actually thought he did a good job by lasting 20 seconds. He was done after 4 thrusts and was somehow confused. I didn't orgasm either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 688

You deserved it 394

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 817

You deserved it 5 301

Sabraynay 10

Tuesday 13 September 2011 11:45

He was probably making sure the condom was on properly. Better to be safe than sorry!

leadman1989 15

Tuesday 13 September 2011 11:47

In the defense of stupid men everywhere... They can be pretty slippery.

Comments

sawblay07 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 18:55

He must have heard if u dont usw it u lose it and wanted to make sure it was safe too lol

BloodyDraven 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 18:57

YDI for not helping him

wals2537 1

Tuesday 13 September 2011 19:01

If it is the first time for guys, it is very very common for the guy to finnish much faster than normal. So you should be more satisfied next time.

chardy22 1

Tuesday 13 September 2011 19:12

Guys tend to do that on their first time or when it's been a while - it'll get better!

fuckyouimawesome 1

Tuesday 13 September 2011 19:20

Looks like you gotta take matters into your own hands ;)

structuredchaoz 4

Tuesday 13 September 2011 19:20

We all have shortcomings. His are just, shorter.

mash_mash_fml 4

Tuesday 13 September 2011 19:32

That must be sone big package ;)

captainfalcon7 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 20:23

welcome to sex

arin2009 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 20:24

give him head first lol

ndhin831 2

Tuesday 13 September 2011 20:27

Bonus! You're sexier than the condom.

Keywords

Transportation Cars Embarrassing Work Mental health Awkward Relatable AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Annoying Family Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Dogs Animals Cute Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 973

You deserved it 4 287

Today, two weeks after giving my daughter-in-law a severe scolding for forcing my son to do chores and babysit the kids on his days off, I went to visit them and found out that they'd changed the locks, so my key no longer works. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 1 752

The Top

Today, I watched my brother attempt to cook some eggs without turning the gas on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 865

You deserved it 5 019

Today, I had to bribe my cousin with Monster Energy Drinks and Halo 5 so he wouldn't tell my mom I snuck out to meet a boy. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 373

You deserved it 8 535

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd feel like a failure if he went to community college. I'm planning to go to community college next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 366

You deserved it 4 989

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 708

You deserved it 6 939

Today, and for the past few years, I've had a mysterious lump on my pinky finger that will not go away. Every doctor I've gone to has absolutely no idea what it is, or why it even showed up. I'm starting to think that I wouldn't like to find out what it is, if even a medical professional can't say for sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 77

Today, my friend asked me how I did on my test. I got an 85%. She asked me what my secret was, and I said "I'm just smart". She replied, "No you're not. How did you pull it off?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 959

You deserved it 6 644