By whyeventry? - 02/08/2013 04:39 - United States - Neenah

Spicy
Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 58 156
You deserved it 12 722
Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…
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Top comments

darth1 18

Honestly that sounds like a fun way to end things.

505 10
mimiminx 23

You had to 'finally talk' your boyfriend into going down on you and now he's too scared to have sex with you after rolling off the bed?! He sounds like a bit of a pussy!

473 22

Comments

AGB10 19

I'm guessing you are the one who wears the pants in the relationship. Looks like they may not come off now. Lol

74 4
swordidfate 13

Did you have to give him the birds and the bees talk too?

46 5
Goblin182 26

Wish I could get that reaction from my wife.

37 1
Vaginabutter 15

my wife tries to pop my head like a zit when she cums.

18 3
Posthuman 26

Dear God I couldn't help but laugh as I pictured this.

38 3
BriannaMGK 15

Your boyfriend sounds a little fruity! Are you sure he's straight?! I've never heard of having to talk a guy into eating out, most men will jump right on it!

45 6
geekchick88 17

I was totally coming here to say the exact same thing! I've never had a guy who needed to be convinced to go down on me, and none of them panic like that when my thighs squeeze their head. Her boyfriend is a huge wuss.

12 4
bassfisher100 23

some guys just dont like the taste (i am one of them) but i still do it.

0 0
Kallian_fml 21

'Crocodile-style'? I just imagined a crocodile trying to give his girlfriend oral, though I can't imagine that would end well.

38 0
EnterSandman_fml 20

The imagery in this FML is fantastic. We shall name this gator death roll position the Steve Irwin in honor of our fallen comrade from down under.

45 1
Christala 8

The female-revenge to the "Harlem Struggle"? I'm not gonna describe it, you can google it yourselves.

3 10
Caitie_kid 8

Ugh! Why did I google that!? Fair warning, if anyone ever tried to "Harlem struggle" me I would just bite it off and swallow it whole. Good luck getting it back!

8 3
SeenBean93 10

I wasn't bothered about googling it until I read your comment, now I'm traumatised. But I agree, they'd totally deserve to have it bitten off for doing that.

7 2
sabbyheartswhat 23

I had to google it. I've seen some shit in my life. But that... I can see a fight breaking out. You choke me, I'm choking you. Turn about is fair play.

5 0
RedPillSucks 31

I don't get why the women don't simply bite down?

5 0
Cazz91 21

During this week on a bed, as I recall it was on my bed, convinced my boyfriend with a simple plea, trapped his head while he went down on me as I jizzed in his face. Rolling off the bed as panic struck, I don't think next time there will be any luck, decided to write this tale on FML and I jizzed in my pants!

9 33
senor_awesome 14

Nice try, A for effort on this one.

0 3
Cazz91 21

Well, at least I now know that the people of FML do not like the lonely island. Tried to make a funny by changing out some things with the lyrics for the fml situation and got thumbed down hardcore. Damn. I can at least Pat myself on the back for never using a over used "shitty situation" pun in any fml. :)

4 1
azwethinkweiz87 11

Rawr! Sounds like a good time. Pity he's a scaredy cat hehe, he should feel good he got that kind of reaction from you ;)

2 11