Intimacy: Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past...

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 14:27 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 617

You deserved it 7 353

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Envy

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 08:15 - United States

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 271

You deserved it 13 114

What a cozy moment

By ratfaced - 12/10/2017 07:00 - United States - Stamford

Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 729

You deserved it 382

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 04:04 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after assuring my best friend that his girlfriend would never cheat on him, I came home to my brother having loud sex with my best friend's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 2 638

By pigglepigglepiggle - 24/11/2009 02:30 - United States

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 522

You deserved it 29 604

By dollfacee - 09/07/2015 16:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 655

You deserved it 2 351

By Merdoc - 03/02/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's guinea pig managed to go down her shirt. I have been dating her for 3 weeks and I haven't even kissed her yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 344

You deserved it 44 750

Double betrayal

By iwannagointothewoods - 13/11/2023 23:00 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is cheating on me. With my mother. They were doing it for almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 131

Naughty boy

By Anonomous - 29/12/2013 00:31 - United States - Plainfield

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 047

You deserved it 4 158

By nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 472

You deserved it 2 108

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 01:24 - United States

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 463

You deserved it 4 677

thaliah 15

Saturday 5 April 2014 19:24

Kick your brother's ass and dump the girl.

famvd 15

Saturday 5 April 2014 19:25

I'm assuming the squeaking sound is coming from the bed, not the brother...

Comments

rosco98 16

Saturday 5 April 2014 19:27

Well then at least you can keep the Guinea pig

olpally 32

Saturday 5 April 2014 19:29

Just go in there and throw them off the bed and dump the bitch and kick your brother in the balls. That's pathetic.

A_Perfect_Circle 12

Saturday 5 April 2014 19:31

Screw that noise

chaoss10 18

Saturday 5 April 2014 19:32

U need to dump the girl and teach ur brother a lesson n throw that squeaky bed of his out

Ki11erC 18

Saturday 5 April 2014 21:07

Why throw the bed out? So next time it happens he can't get caught? Maybe throw the brother out though, after a severe beating.

Inuyasha843 12

Saturday 5 April 2014 19:34

All I will say next time go in there throw either hot or ice cold water on them and leave dump her and figure something out evil for ur brother I'm sorry op

HeyTherexxx 21

Saturday 5 April 2014 19:47

Hopefully OP kicked them both to the curb and won't be witnessing/hearing a next time.

iann32 10

Saturday 5 April 2014 21:14

why not both!

egrudy 9

Saturday 5 April 2014 19:34

It's hard losing a brother and a girlfriend in the same day. But there is no forgiveness for betrayal... Period! Sorry for your losses sir.

thecalvin123 21

Saturday 5 April 2014 19:35

Is there no such thing as family loyalty anymore?

sunnyray812 42

Saturday 5 April 2014 20:01

Not on FML.

glabberfasted 16

Sunday 6 April 2014 2:08

She seems pretty loyal to this family in particular.

MrDonSalvetti 27

Saturday 5 April 2014 19:35

I would beat the shit out of your brother and than dump that bitch! But first, go and buy a new bed...

FlyingPie 17

Saturday 5 April 2014 19:36

Assuming you live with your brother (which it sounds like), I think it would be appropriate to kick your brother out (or move out if the place is his); also, dump your girlfriend.