Miscellaneous: Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks...

By Anonymous - 21/02/2015 15:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 023

You deserved it 8 568

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/02/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I realized that the "pimples" on my back weren't pimples at all. Because I was unable to see how bad they were for the last week, I never caught on to the fact the they were, in fact, ticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 245

You deserved it 6 774

Yucky!

By theapplesleader - 23/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 3 826

By Luna - 22/07/2012 02:30 - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 694

You deserved it 3 531

The spirit of John Lennon

By Becks - 07/09/2020 23:01

Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 117

By seadrick - 06/06/2015 16:19 - Canada - Granville Ferry

Today, I learned that not only do wood ticks have a habit of dropping off of branches onto you as you walk under them, they also like to hang out in groups of five or six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 808

You deserved it 2 140

By ewwww - 26/05/2013 17:55 - United States - Oak Lawn

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 580

You deserved it 4 318

By rivercitybarf - 08/08/2009 08:48 - United States

Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 707

You deserved it 6 900

By John - 26/03/2012 02:53 - Saint Lucia

Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 685

You deserved it 3 033

By awkardtaco - 28/09/2018 13:30

Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 628

You deserved it 234

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 04:32 - United States - Sparta

Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 602

You deserved it 7 773

dylanger16 19

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:32

You might want to go to the doctor and get tested for diseases then

Queensland 27

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:33

Why would you want to eat a black jelly bean anyway, they're the worst!!

Comments

itsCoCobish 7

Sunday 22 February 2015 13:49

Well his lil bad ass had some nerve...

thejonac 21

Sunday 22 February 2015 15:40

it's really of utmost importance to seek medical attention immediately OP

askingandy 23

Sunday 22 February 2015 16:06

Oh god, I might cry

nachoz 2

Sunday 22 February 2015 17:09

Man I hate it when I want to eat a blood-filled tick and end up eating a black jelly bean.

JKPwnage 27

Sunday 22 February 2015 17:36

"Slimy, yet satisfying!" -Simba

JayVicious 20

Wednesday 25 February 2015 23:10

pretty sure they both said that

marigoldcobain 21

Sunday 22 February 2015 18:24

Eww, gross! Really, I have nothing else to say, that's just really, really gross... FYL.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 22 February 2015 19:25

EWWW! Black jelly beans are nasty! But seriously, I'd contact a doctor ASAP. Yuck!

peace150 12

Sunday 22 February 2015 19:44

gross!

Catlover1130 14

Sunday 22 February 2015 19:51

Ewwww!!! Lmfao both my friend and I gagged on this one.

noahsmith25 9

Sunday 22 February 2015 19:58

It's things like this that are the reason for my trust issues...

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The Top

Today, a field engineer decided to rework everyone's schedule, just because he couldn't be bothered to do a full day's work. Now two of us who would've been busy all day are sat on our phones, and he's off out on "errands". How a day goes depends on how bothered he can be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 81

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 050

You deserved it 409

The Top

Today, I ordered a plain cheeseburger. The cashier was confused, so I explained, "Just meat and cheese." When I got my food, my burger didn't have a bun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 497

You deserved it 1 937

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 367

You deserved it 4 762

Today, while trying to get my attention, my dog got her nail stuck in a usb port in my laptop. She freaked out and ran off, dragging it off my lap and through the house before if came off. Her nail was only slightly chipped- my laptop now has a cracked screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 581

You deserved it 8 995

Today, I was driving in a busy area looking for a place to park. I happened to lock eyes with a really handsome man who was walking alongside the road. He approached my car with a huge, gorgeous smile, and as I rolled my window down, he asked, "Are you my Uber?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 666

You deserved it 999

Today, my coworker made up a story about me “sexually harassing” her and filed a complaint to my boss. All because I took the last plastic spoon from the breakroom, and she couldn’t eat her yogurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 91

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating is heavily into a mystical card game and spends all of his money going to "Magic" card conventions across the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 132

You deserved it 28 770

Same thing different taste

Yucky!

The spirit of John Lennon

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