Intimacy: Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's...

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 18:26 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 953

You deserved it 6 207

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Same thing different taste

By Jon - 23/05/2011 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 410

You deserved it 9 429

By ohsnap - 22/01/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 838

You deserved it 5 748

By idiot says pussy - 21/01/2014 17:43 - United States

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 405

You deserved it 7 943

It's a doggy dog world

By Stephon - 04/08/2021 02:01

Today, my girl was giving me a BJ when my dog started howling. She keeps going; my dog keeps howling. She stops, my dog stops. We start getting it on again and my girl starts giving me a BJ again; my dog starts howling louder this time. So we stop. My dog stopped me from getting some. This is a first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 244

By nicknack22 - 01/02/2009 15:48 - United States

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 735

You deserved it 5 944

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 120

You deserved it 13 417

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 833

You deserved it 6 345

By Dontwaketheneighbors - 06/12/2012 14:24 - United States - Santee

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 749

You deserved it 4 582

Effective

By WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner - 16/11/2015 06:44 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 224

You deserved it 3 491

Classically Abby

By shesanexnow - 19/08/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 209

cb1002630 11

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:26

Bet you became a screamer as well

BulldogHoops 14

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:24

You brought this upon yourself when your girlfriend's texts were being read over her shoulder.

Comments

SomeRandomGuy15 18

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:34

Well, at least you know your girlfriend's dog will rush to her rescue in an emergency?

techweed 12

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:34

Good idea: having sex with your girlfriend. Bad idea: having sex with your girlfriend with her dog in the room.

Dimence 9

Friday 29 March 2013 1:47

Indeed! I just hope for the sake of op that his girlfriend doesn't own a Rottweiler...

QJDynamite 19

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:37

At least you know that her dog will give the jerk what he deserves if she ever decides to cheat!

Chucklikesbacon 12

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:40

Well, that escalated quickly!

hanielfavela 6

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:53

Most of been a German Shepherd, in which case i feel sorry for you OP. those dogs are very protective. On the other hand, way ta getter done buddy!

strawberrywine22 30

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:56

You're right, it *must have* been a German shepherd...I'm Perry sure those are the only dogs that are protective of their owners, right? Couldn't have been a pit bull, doberman, or rottweiler cause any one of those would just leave her to suffer.

hanielfavela 6

Thursday 28 March 2013 0:01

I did not mean it like that, Im a lover of all animals, I was raised on a farm. I just said German Shepherd because i have first hand experience with those dogs.

MWidderAUDI 14

Thursday 28 March 2013 1:38

dont let her get to you dude. she corrected you on your simple spelling mistake but couldnt spell 'pretty' correctly.

strawberrywine22 30

Thursday 28 March 2013 1:57

Crap Swype is entirely different from illiteracy, fucktard :)

strawberrywine22 30

Thursday 28 March 2013 1:58

Also, I wasn't correcting his spelling. I was emphasizing the words using asterisks, since I can't use italics.

botanistjessica 24

Thursday 28 March 2013 6:01

German shepherds aren't the only protective dogs. Nor are the ones aforementioned. Any dog can become protective based on its personality and upbringing so there is no way to deduce a breed from this FML.

wjh100 13

Thursday 28 March 2013 9:06

my dauchsunds will tear your face off if you're in there space and close enough to them. yes dauchsund as in wiener dogs. assuming any one breed is more protective than another is unrealistic

karlcolt45 19

Thursday 28 March 2013 0:04

He clearly thought she was finishing early and was gonna leave you holding the bag, so he took it upon himself to help you climax..but Rex likes it rough..