Miscellaneous: Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5... - FML

By EdgardoP - 26/06/2012 15:08 - United States - Allentown

Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minutes to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 321

You deserved it 3 537

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Same thing different taste

By t - 17/05/2011 03:26

Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 771

You deserved it 6 160

By Username - 05/06/2019 20:00

Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 930

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 446

You deserved it 7 721

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 938

You deserved it 44 869

By mathii - 23/07/2011 23:52 - France

Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 772

You deserved it 6 170

Baywatched out

By Username - 01/09/2010 00:35 - France

Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 758

You deserved it 10 039

By fat teen - 05/06/2016 23:33 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 530

You deserved it 2 332

Baywatch

By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 350

You deserved it 511

Baywatch

By Jenn - 16/12/2016 00:50

Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 234

You deserved it 841

By spaghett - 29/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 162

You deserved it 1 821

Next

Top comments

BigBoyBounce 5

Tuesday 26 June 2012 18:54

The only thing i could thonk of when i read this was Patrick Star.

saintsrocksocks 10

Tuesday 26 June 2012 18:55

Lol AHHHH BUT CRAMP. -Patrick Star

Comments

cheetahbaby96 8

Tuesday 26 June 2012 22:58

102- You are one hell of a cranky bitch today, aren't you? You've posted about 5 comments on this FML and the one before it, all telling people they are stupid and to shut up. GTFO

xXxIracebethxXx 14

Tuesday 26 June 2012 23:06

#103 - Not my fault stupid people annoy me. If you don't want to see people bitching over the internet, tough ******* luck. Maybe you should be the one to "GTFO" if you have a problem.

cheetahbaby96 8

Tuesday 26 June 2012 23:13

106- Oh, I'm sorry, did I offend you? Or maybe some guy pissed you off, because your comments all include how you don't care about their "male preferences". Side note: no one gives a shit about whether or not their comment annoys you. Grow the **** up.

Schizomaniac 24

Tuesday 26 June 2012 23:15

Awww snap. You gonna take that, 106? She straight got all up in your face.

meekthekit 6

Tuesday 26 June 2012 23:17

Heh, moderated this one:) this lifeguard sucks. He should be fired...

i_love_pandas_ 0

Tuesday 26 June 2012 23:22

Report him that's what I would do

xXxIracebethxXx 14

Tuesday 26 June 2012 23:29

107 - With a name like cheetahbaby, I honestly cannot take you seriously. Do not get so worked up, babe. No, males do not piss me off, actually, but the comments I have seen from Safaeita are about HER male preferences, such as her not liking a guy shaving their legs (even though it was just for a party) or flirting rather than doing his job (who cares, she was not the one drowing, unless she knows the guy personally, but even then, announcing it to the FML community is unnecessary). It is like, "okay, honey, no one gives a flying **** because it is FML, not eHarmony." Maybe you should get off your high horse, sit your SoCal skinny-ass down, take some deep breaths, and calm the **** down. For a comment ON THE INTERENT, you sure seemed ticked off. You do not know me, you do not know Safaeita, so you should "grow the **** up" and realize that I do not give a shit if you are all up on my **** for something that offended YOU, not me.

snafu63 0

Tuesday 26 June 2012 23:32

lifeguards are supposed to let unattractive people drown, helps pretty up the human race. Didn't you know that?

Darwin03 1

Tuesday 26 June 2012 23:32

You need a life guard for a cramp... Wow, you are a wimp. You need to get up and swim more often.

rhaemese 9

Tuesday 26 June 2012 23:34

No one thumbed down 112's comment, so I took the liberty to do so. Oh and 112, shut the **** up please

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