Health: Today, I got a paper cut from a 'get well soon' card. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 12/05/2011 07:54

Today, I got a paper cut from a 'get well soon' card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 514

You deserved it 5 697

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Same thing different taste

By irony - 16/08/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 941

You deserved it 9 370

By Anonymous - 09/06/2011 16:35 - United States

Today, I received roughly 50 paper cuts while I was at work. I didn't realize this until after I applied hand sanitizer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 319

You deserved it 6 049

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 17:11 - Germany

Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 660

You deserved it 2 699

By Moon_Glade - 03/06/2017 16:00

Today, at work, I have discovered the wonderful feeling of having a paper cut, with metal, under your nail, on all your nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 982

You deserved it 371

By AHHH_REPTAR - 23/06/2016 04:54 - United States - Spearfish

Today, while drilling holes in "No Smoking" signs for my job, I gave myself a minor cut that would appear to most as a papercut. I then had to fill out 3 double-sided pages of paperwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 637

You deserved it 1 398

About that…

By Insensitive - 14/11/2009 22:26 - Australia

Today, I sent a get well card to my friend. it wasn't until after I got home from posting it did I realise that the stamps I put on the envelope had the phrase "Let's Get Active" on them with drawings of people playing sports. My friend is in a wheelchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 124

You deserved it 12 295

The ole paper cut excuse

By alliwantisabandaid - 11/02/2011 08:27

Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 248

You deserved it 3 978

By Chicketi - 11/02/2009 14:45 - Canada

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 985

You deserved it 8 240

ER time

By sero - 10/08/2022 04:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 131

By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 798

You deserved it 815

Next

Top comments

iAmScrubs 19

Thursday 12 May 2011 15:57

The people who sent it are out to get you. Tomorrow, you will receive roses and cut yourself on them too.

LaughterofCorn 4

Thursday 12 May 2011 15:58

oh the irony :)

Comments

garfield224 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 18:55

How tragic. Some people have lukemia

Egnar 19

Thursday 12 May 2011 19:18

Oh ya? But some people have Stage 4 colon cancer?. . . Lets only vote on FMLs posted by people with terminal illnesses, fatal STDs and accident victims with little chance of survival - Lets see how long this website lasts! /sarcasmoff

ryankon518 3

Thursday 12 May 2011 19:45

irony is the best medicine...

Giraffelover1097 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 20:22

ohh the irony .

Tantalum 1

Thursday 12 May 2011 20:23

Actually, the card is referring to itself and the incident.

goodfella925 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 20:47

a new final destination?

babybatman 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 20:54

fail .

sharkwkrox 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 21:31

get well soon :)

MiuDiorLouboutin 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 21:54

lol ironic :P

HomeAl0ne 20

Thursday 12 May 2011 22:03

That's nothing. I once got pregnant from a card congratulating me on my vasectomy.

meowmeowgirl 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 22:15

How Ironic!

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The Top

Today, I accidentally fell asleep at work after working a 12-hour shift. Instead of waking me up, my coworkers spiked my coffee mug with whiskey and told my boss I was drunk. My boss wouldn't even listen to my side of the story and fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 707

You deserved it 2 991

Today, my girlfriend left her phone on a bus. With no way to pick it up, I drove 40 miles through Friday night Boston traffic to get it from the bus company office. It took me four hours. Bored in traffic, I discovered the texts from her other boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 720

You deserved it 5 036

The Top

Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 181

You deserved it 3 543

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a restaurant so I could apply for a job, and we decided to eat there. After we finished, I went to start the car. When we got home, I asked him how much the bill came to. Apparently he didn't pay. I had already given them my completed application. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 667

You deserved it 7 343

Today, as if having an old man shit on the floor of the busy restaurant I work at wasn't bad enough, my manager made a video commentating over the camera footage of me discovering said giant pile of shit, and shared it with the entire staff. This is going to haunt me forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 300

You deserved it 1 914

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 205

You deserved it 8 741

Today, I found my 30 year-old sister-in-law's TikTok. All she posts on it is indigenous issues and goes on rants about how hard life is for her and her ancestors. She's white, but claims to be Blackfoot and "white passing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 112

Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 785

You deserved it 4 147