Health: Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 525

You deserved it 10 688

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 595

You deserved it 22 043

By Chester (Seattle) - 09/09/2010 02:15 - United States

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 951

You deserved it 5 821

By loser - 10/10/2009 20:45 - France

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 604

You deserved it 61 299

By liu_kang - 16/03/2010 18:55 - United States

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 164

You deserved it 7 711

By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 016

You deserved it 9 980

Butterfingers

By eiregal2 - 15/04/2020 23:00 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I somehow managed to slice open my thumb. The dangerous weapon that caused this to happen? Velcro. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 415

You deserved it 199

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 03:05 - United States

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 308

You deserved it 3 239

It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.

By Seamstressed - 09/02/2017 20:00 - Italy

Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 236

You deserved it 1 266

By Anonymous - 25/10/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 331

You deserved it 4 134

By irony - 16/08/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 941

You deserved it 9 372

Michaelgee 2

Monday 16 May 2011 23:05

I guess you can you say your fashion sense is certainly "cutting edge" Sincerely, Your useless superhero Bad Pun Man.

hannah1203 2

Monday 16 May 2011 23:13

Rabbi's don't get paid to do circumcisions, but they do keep the tips...

Comments

shadowtrooper 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 0:57

I grabed my nuts say not my boys

whoa_is_failz 6

Tuesday 17 May 2011 0:58

OMFG!!!!!! FYL bigtime

Babygirl2338 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:05

hahaha

filipino_dude 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:09

OMGD must be extremely painful

thegrant 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:10

You might wanna wear underwear, bro.

Shadow4i5 3

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:14

I rly think u don't deserve to have a dick if u can't take care of it

conholio33 28

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:14

wow that sounds really painful

Reallyjerkman11 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:15

What?

jazminespinoza 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:20

wonderfull bye bye babies

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Tuesday 17 May 2011 20:29

Uh... No. That's not how that works.

Crazy4Christ 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:31

damn ouch!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 277

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

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You deserved it 4 364

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 56 954

You deserved it 5 289

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I agree, your life sucks 46 711

You deserved it 9 837

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I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 718

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I agree, your life sucks 14 586

You deserved it 2 282

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I agree, your life sucks 34 105

You deserved it 3 029

Today, I started a new job. I lost my work keys and had everyone running all over the building looking for them. We found them, hanging in the last lock I had used. They now all think I'm a nut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 578

You deserved it 26 251

Same thing different taste

Butterfingers

It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.

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