Health: Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 14:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 565

You deserved it 6 202

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/09/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 388

You deserved it 4 442

By Sica - 15/03/2012 19:28 - France

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 740

You deserved it 6 410

Ninja skills

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 22:00

Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 134

Toot toot

By gassy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 250

You deserved it 36 070

By UkuleleTime - 23/06/2015 08:07 - United States - Garner

Spicy

Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 867

You deserved it 2 425

Change it!

By man down! man down... - 01/12/2019 03:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Spicy

Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 158

You deserved it 385

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 418

You deserved it 11 365

By luckygirl - 13/10/2015 16:20 - Croatia - Zagreb

Spicy

Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 709

You deserved it 6 244

By solomantis - 30/07/2009 05:46 - Norway

Spicy

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 929

You deserved it 50 382

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 06:10 - United States - Rochester

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 601

You deserved it 23 085

Next

Top comments

emerluvsu 6

Monday 19 September 2011 18:34

That's the most original fml I've ever heard.

123zc1 3

Monday 19 September 2011 18:34

Omg I almost died laughing

Comments

miss_priss24 4

Tuesday 20 September 2011 2:44

You must have gotten kicked pretty dang hard.

Hannahrayne 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 2:45

Today, I asked a guy for his number. He said sure and took my phone to put it in. It wasn't until I got home when I realized my phone was gone and my friends new he stole it the whole time. Oh, and I didn't get his number.

ZoeElizabeth 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 23:30

Why do we care?

cupcakemonster12 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 3:37

Second bitch move I've seen today! That sucks.. If your friends didn't tell you they are jerks and he's not worth it

Btreasure 8

Tuesday 20 September 2011 2:49

It could've been worse. It could've been some guy who was just using you

Holli611 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 2:51

most girls lose theirs to their bicycle ... at least you have a different story to tell ...

Bizenghastly 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:00

^-^ teehee! #72 said '"periods" ^-^ I'm sorry...I jus thought it was funny cuz they wer trying to be serious *hangs head in shame***

Lorus_fml 12

Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:01

Fastest. Quickie. Ever.

Victoire_W 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:04

At least your ready!

sparklerainbow 5

Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:10

I'm confused...how do you pop your cherry? and what is that? I'm a girl so I have no idea :) but losing your virginity like that is funny yet unfortunate...sorry

saidawhiting 14

Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:54

The fact that you're a girl is the reason that you SHOULD know what "popping a cherry" means. The OP is also female.

kiraleann 16

Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:54

It's just another way of saying you lost your virginity...so she's just saying that the shoe hit her at the right angle and with enough force to break her hymen.

COCKYmanUSC 3

Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:45

Try explaining that one to your parents...

cetlawizard 15

Tuesday 20 September 2011 6:22

PSN black blackout survivors UNITE! lol... I survived it too ....it sucked bigtime!

COCKYmanUSC 3

Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:49

Try explaining that one to your parents...

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Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, my girlfriend got drunk and started crying, begging me to never break up with her, only for her to say 10 minutes later, "I don’t wanna be with you anymore." Then she asked me if she could buy me some pot, and, "Let’s watch movies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 102

Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon, I was nervous; eight, I was pissed. Around ten, I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 555

You deserved it 23 502

The Top

Today, I learned that shaving my unibrow while drunk/high was a terrible idea. I also learned that one brow looks better than no brow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 982

You deserved it 56 288

Today, I made my way to a bar for a first date with a guy I had been talking to online. It turned out he was actually my ex-boyfriend in disguise, trying to get revenge for dumping him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 140

Today, I had an art class with my girlfriend. The teacher assigned "anti-cards", or cards for unusual or bad occasions. My girlfriend decided to make a "break-up" card, and I helped her write the poem inside it. After class, she gave it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 246

You deserved it 6 477

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 617

You deserved it 14 091

Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 342

You deserved it 43 096

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 285

You deserved it 12 484