Health: Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and... - FML

By stitchesupmyass - 01/11/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 762

You deserved it 4 686

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 19:15 - Italy - Catanzaro

Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 788

You deserved it 7 710

My body hates me

By How? - 09/10/2022 22:30

Today, I'm on the last few days of my period. After nothing came out the whole day, a dollop of blood suddenly poured out, somehow managed to entirely circumvent the giant pad I was wearing, and went straight into my underwear, pants, and the chair I was sitting on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 477

You deserved it 158

NOT NOW!

By LamingtonSalad - 02/08/2022 18:00

Today, after I went in for surgery, I came out of extremely anemic from blood loss. As soon as I got home, I started my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 116

The body keeps the score

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 17:00 - United Kingdom - Pontefract

Today, I started my period, complete with cramps, diarrhoea, a headache, bloating, and aching legs. Apparently my body didn't get the message that I had a total hysterectomy a month ago, including my ovaries, tubes and cervix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 113

Precision flinging

By oh god why - 06/10/2019 00:01

Today, while I was changing my tampon, I somehow managed to fling period blood into my eye. I wish I was making this up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 758

You deserved it 248

By SickSmick - 09/02/2010 12:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 593

You deserved it 3 492

By DamnMyOvaries - 02/05/2017 17:00 - United States - Groves

Today, I fainted in the lunch line at school due to extreme period cramps, and ended up having to get seven stitches on my face. This is the third time I've fainted because of my period this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 550

You deserved it 536

By shitttyyyday - 14/01/2012 07:47 - United States

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 843

You deserved it 4 381

Splatter analysis

By Anonymous - 14/04/2024 08:00 - United States - Pataskala

Today, after I wore a pad last night, I woke up this morning, took off my underwear to use the bathroom, and a huge period glob flew hit the rug and splattered everywhere. The globs got on every piece if clothing I wore. I then had to clean what looked like a crime scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 128

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 614

You deserved it 883

Next

Top comments

Epic_Fail911 15

Wednesday 2 November 2011 9:02

I like your name stitchesupmyass

kaprookie 3

Wednesday 2 November 2011 9:04

Yeah well I once got scratched by a cat

Comments

Chrissy44 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 1:39

That's what it's like after childbirth---sucks

gymbabey7 3

Thursday 3 November 2011 1:48

holy **** how do u get stitches there...paaaiiiinnnn

mj_ok 9

Thursday 3 November 2011 2:21

Aww, hopefully it'll heal.

MarieBooLovesYou 4

Thursday 3 November 2011 2:47

Awwwh shyt! I hope your okay.! :O

LullzKitteh 1

Thursday 3 November 2011 2:49

how does it 'hurt to menstruate'? pro-tip: use a shower attachment to gently cleanse sensitive areas.

thatgirlyesii 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 3:11

HOLY **** thats scary shit i feel your pain >.

ilovepandaz 2

Thursday 3 November 2011 3:25

Ouch

Nasani 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 3:50

I just threw up in my mouth a little. This makes me legitimately consider switching to guys.

imani132 6

Thursday 3 November 2011 4:02

Ouch...

juliaspencer 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 4:04

TMI hunny

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The Top

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 1 842

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 578

You deserved it 5 576

The Top

Today, while I was looking for a file on my boyfriend's hard drive, I came across photos of a half-naked woman wearing my clothes, but whose head wasn't really visible. When I demanded an explanation, I realised that it wasn't another girl - it was him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 894

You deserved it 3 616

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 226

You deserved it 18 912

Today, I spent all day preparing a big, elaborate Italian dinner for my boyfriend, who recently discovered he was part Italian. He came home, turned up his nose and said "I was in the mood for Chinese". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 881

You deserved it 4 151

Today, despite giving my sister a place to stay while she's in town for a funeral, she demanded I give a bedroom to her son to have to himself, because, "How am I supposed to have 'sexy time' with my husband with him in the room?" Everyone's sharing rooms, and no one's getting sexy time as someone literally died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 112

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 352

You deserved it 40 479

Today, I found my neighbours bratty kid in my house, eating my snacks, dirtying my sofa, and drawing on pages torn from my books. I marched him back home by the ear, him screaming I was a meanie, and his mother's only excuse was, “Boys will be boys.” No apology or anything. I HATE KIDS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 145