Animals: Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me....

By ouchh - 11/09/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 942

You deserved it 7 327

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 20:53 - United States

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 254

You deserved it 5 275

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 514

You deserved it 28 638

By Anonymous - 04/09/2017 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 146

You deserved it 482

Smack my bitch up

By Anonymous - 02/06/2023 01:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I got naked after coming home. It's super hot where I live and I wanted to cool down before getting dressed again. As I was standing there, minding my own business, the cat I'm pet-sitting for a friend reached up and clawed me on the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 229

Part of the furniture

By ripped - 07/09/2016 14:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 834

You deserved it 1 375

Poor little guy

By anonymous - 16/09/2022 02:30 - United States - Maryville

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 135

By scratchpost - 28/10/2010 12:07 - United States

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 931

You deserved it 4 622

By Noname - 12/03/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150 412

You deserved it 22 967

By littlespoon - 04/02/2010 08:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 459

You deserved it 3 567

By murphy22 - 24/08/2012 09:33 - United States - Norman

Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 648

You deserved it 2 824

Casualt1234 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 1:39

"swinging penis"? anyone else find this phrase odd? -_- also, at least you're getting some pussy (:,'

kirbyfan23 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 1:34

Well, at least you got some action!

Comments

Witchcraft_fml 4

Saturday 12 September 2009 5:43

YDI for putting the image of a swinging penis in my head.

plexico 3

Saturday 12 September 2009 5:49

At least she didn't mistake it for a "Little Baby Carrot."

woah_dang_baby_fml 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 5:57

YDI, for having a cat. Gayyyy.

22jrdn55 15

Saturday 12 September 2009 6:01

YDI for having an attractive penis. NOT

fMYYYlife 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 6:38

Haha This made me giggle, YDI it for being a guy. Just kidding I wanted to say something gay! :) and LOL #58

bigcrazymike 6

Saturday 12 September 2009 6:43

YDI for being a man who owns a cat. She probably didn't go for your balls too because you have to turn them over to own a cat.

gonzolove 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 23:12

I buried your comment because you're an asshole and I like cats.

grumpyoldtroll 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 6:47

YDI FOR SWINGING YOUR DICK

bipolaradhdfml 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 6:54

Well, some of us have penises that are long enough they don't just crawl into a dark hole when they're not in use, and, oddly enough, they aren't static. As for the cat in the bathroom, I'm assuming he showered with the door open. Finish shower, step out, yowtch.

LemonFairy 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 7:10

For all the people who think it's fake... you clearly do not have a cat. Cats attack anything that moves. Especially those things that they cannot identify. :P (Toes under blankets are a favorite~) So FYL for this happening, but YDI for the adjective use here. Honestly, couldn't have picked something that sounded a /bit/ better?

gonzolove 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 23:15

My cat attacks my hair because it's long. She especially likes the surprise attack when I'm laying on the couch watching something. Mostly she just gets my hair, but sometimes she gets my scalp too.