Sex and Intimacy: Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been...

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By confused_girl - 01/08/2013 05:10 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 404

You deserved it 5 045

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 227

You deserved it 4 190

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 827

You deserved it 5 459

By tobuscus9412 - 22/03/2015 01:04 - Australia - Woronora

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 160

You deserved it 3 341

By ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 706

You deserved it 5 208

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 826

You deserved it 37 543

By more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 210

You deserved it 5 880

By accident - 14/02/2014 22:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 072

You deserved it 5 832

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 520

You deserved it 2 902

By PPP - 28/04/2015 15:05 - United States

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 673

You deserved it 3 341

Scarred for life

By Aly - 09/12/2011 15:40 - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 188

You deserved it 5 868

Wizardo 33

Thursday 1 August 2013 16:12

Maybe he was talking about ******?

JustJumped 22

Thursday 1 August 2013 16:14

He's just trying to make sure you don't get disappointed some day

Comments

mr_jack_meoff 5

Friday 2 August 2013 8:47

Yeah, it's not the meat, it's the motion, maybe he has a daughter thang going on in his mind.

candyycurnn 10

Friday 2 August 2013 8:52

Maybe he is just trying to say don't judge the mans penis size cause he might just know how to use it.

WeskersSexslave 15

Friday 2 August 2013 10:17

throw a dictionary to her face please!!!

WeskersSexslave 15

Friday 2 August 2013 10:18

wrong status D:

WeskersSexslave 15

Friday 2 August 2013 10:19

commwnted wrong status D:

tbenson0628 14

Friday 2 August 2013 17:43

Whats wrong with that advice. Its true, for the most part. unless you're super tiny, then your just screwed and not in the good way, cuz we wont feel a damn thing. Just hope that their good with their hands and mouth then!