By damn - 04/01/2013 14:08 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 223
You deserved it 7 351

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Grab the flowers and slam the door. Good riddens.

Comments

I have broken up with girls for that before .... Often times the girl feels she should be able to have close guy friends but are negative about you having a close female friend. That and the old saying if they assume you are cheating then they usually are cheating themselves.

I remember a girlfriend in college that told me she didn't like me having so many friends that were girls. I told her she had several friends that were boys what the difference? She said men cannot be trusted in platonic relationships. Does anyone see the flaw in her reasoning?

****. What I MEANT to say was: Honestly, I hate girls like that a much as any guy would, because it makes the rest of us look bad. However, it's not really a gender-based thing, it's based off insecurity, and while girls may be more susceptible to feeling insecure than dudes, (or maybe just worse at hiding it) dudes can be the exact same way, and it sucks just as bad. And yes, I see the flaw.

I've learned from experience, that girls with a wide circle of guy friends are more likely to cheat from the fact that they have more opportunities.

I've never cheated on anyone in my life, and my social group consists almost exclusively of guys. Guys whom I love like brothers, and wouldn't dream of doing anything sexual with, whether I was in a relationship our otherwise. It's not about the gender of the people someone hangs out with, it's about the morals and character of the person you're dating. Opportunity doesn't mean anything.

thank you #95 and #108 those were put perfectly and I wish everyone had that mindset

My experience isn't that someone cheats because they have a large number if friends in the opposite gender. Usually it's a personality flaw it happens because a guy or girl has an external loci or focus for their own sense of self worth... Example is the club girl who goes out gets drunk and parties in her sexiest (read sluttiest) attire to aim attention from men hat gives her a sense of validation. Gus do the same but traditionally the more beautiful the girl or handsome a guy the more insecure and prone to wandering relations they are. This comes from so mug of their self identity or awareness is tied up in how others see them... That's why it gets annoying to have people get mad at an attractive person and assume they have it easy, how would you like everything you have accomplished to be belittled or here the phrase they slept their way to the top. Anyway ranting tangent done. I have always collected quotes about love to help me find what I am looking for a favorite is "love isn't about finding the perfect person it's about seeing the imperfect person perfectly" here's hoping they each find their own match an are happy with each other instead of worrying over others an wasting moments on jealousy and petty behavior

108- I never said girls with a wide circle of guy friends will always cheat, I only said that they were more likely to cheat. It is proven fact that people are more likely to cheat when they are given the right opportunity (time, place etc.) hence why most cheating occurs in workplaces.

Understandable, but still, I still think that ultimately it's about the the person, not the situation or the other people involved. Haters gonna hate, and cheaters gonna cheat. One way or another.

All i was saying there, and no pun intended, is that I've had a fuckton of opportunities to cheat, and I've never seized any of them. It really all depends on the person.

No one needs to F Y L.. You do a great job of that. Cheers!

perdix 29

On the bright side, you had the winning side in the argument. He was too close to this other girl. You may have lost a boyfriend, but you won a debate! After some alone time, I'm sure you'll become a master debater.

I read those last 2 words differently and it gave a whole new meaning.

With enough practice, she may even win a math debate.

My take on this is that if she's paranoid about something, it may be right. Women's intuition is a powerful thing. And in the end she ended up right, didn't she? If he's buying flowers for the other girl, their relationship clearly didn't just begin out of nowhere. He gave OP a reason to feel uncomfortable.

That is agreeable, but then it didn't begin out of nowhere as the third party would already have feelings in that likely scenario, which would have sent off a red flag to OP. Unless the two other parties in this are super good at keeping their feelings at check, which there are slim to no women I know that are good at such a thing, I doubt it came out of nowhere.

Now this is just my experience speaking at this point, but usually when there is an attraction, that person will feel compelled to speak more often to that person in which they are attracted to. Nowadays that usually involves texting. Perhaps the third party was texting the boy too frequently and that made OP uncomfortable, and her boy at the time didn't fix her discomfort. When there was a girl after my boyfriend, he assured me right away that he wasn't interested - granted, she was VERY straightforward and told him she was attracted, but he still moved quick to assure me that there was nothing there. Even worse, she was a good friend of his. I didn't tell him to stop talking to her, he thought it up on his own because it made him uncomfortable. Perhaps the boyfriend and the third party were behaving in a suspicious manner, when the boyfriend should have been hushing OP's concerns. When he didn't, she resorted to arguing and was bothered by his defensiveness instead of willing to fair trade.

CerealKiller528 0

It hurts now, but he is/was an asshole. To hide feelings disguised as his friendship with the other girl was shitty. Bringing her flowers and rubbing that in your face just proves that he is a double-****-face idiot.

KingCeltic77 18

I don't know the whole story but A) who is the girl? B) is she just a friend C) if she was just a friend, how would you feel if he made you give up your guy friends (considering you have any or he didn't make you give them up).

Totally better off and in a way, your instinct to confront him was correct. He didn't love you. So it's the best thing to.do move on