Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 1 808

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Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 840

You deserved it 798 619

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 867

You deserved it 8 699

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 175

You deserved it 10 858

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 003

You deserved it 637

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 580

You deserved it 9 940

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 314

You deserved it 3 182

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 015

You deserved it 45 617

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 672

You deserved it 89 239

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 776

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 819

You deserved it 13 042

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

ebonescence 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 17:34

thats hell creepy for someone to say and do that. do u kno if she actually got pregnant??

SaintJimmy 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 17:30

Pulling out doesn't work. The pre-ejaculate (natural lubricant) contains around 2% of your semen so even if you pulled out before you ejaculated, there is still a risk.

Ashter 20

Sunday 12 July 2009 19:22

ROTFLMFAO!!!! This is definitely the funniest fml ever! I absolutely love how she gets prettier and skinnier as he drinks more, seriously beer goggles. After seeing this, all I have to hear is "Be my baby's daddy!" and I bust up laughing. I feel for you though man, I do.

Young_Sparta 0

Monday 13 July 2009 22:40

don't be a fool...wrap your tool. thats what grandpa always said.

albinorhino 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 6:09

Fyl

Paige_Nicole10 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 7:15

hah, sorry but always wrap it before you tap it, so ydi

shanedawsonfan 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 7:50

Awwww that girl is an idiot I feel for u dude

ily_hun996 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 21:27

Heeey guys! Okay so I'm replying to the top comment so I'm at the top of the most commented post on FML :) Anyway, to the OP, make the girl pull a Juno and put the kid out for adoption.... I guess... because that really sucks :(

Murphy_21 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 21:44

This sucks, but I still have to give the guy props for remembering to even ask about a condom while drunk with a naked chick under him. And if it's really just some random girl, then when she gets pregnant she won't know who he is to even let him know. FHL.