Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 1 808

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Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 838

You deserved it 798 613

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 866

You deserved it 8 698

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 174

You deserved it 10 858

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 001

You deserved it 637

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 579

You deserved it 9 940

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 313

You deserved it 3 182

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 015

You deserved it 45 617

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 672

You deserved it 89 238

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 775

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 818

You deserved it 13 042

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

sucksforu 0

Monday 16 March 2009 20:53

ouch. talk about getting screwed.

mic_check 0

Monday 16 March 2009 20:59

That is just horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are some crazy people out there......

LW_fml 0

Monday 16 March 2009 23:12

HAHAHA loser i'm still laughing at you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's why you always use a condom... HAHAHA FUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH. i'm sorry but thats funny u F***** a crazy Beetch lmao

llSgtScopell 0

Monday 16 March 2009 23:50

FML of the century. HAHAHAHA! I really hope she was just playing around with ya, otherwise that is one crazy bitch...... Always wrap your tool fool!

SoberSucks 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 3:31

wowo dude... just wow............... i feel so sorry. No more drunk chicks, huh? hahaha

soccerdemon31 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 4:12

like we all know pulling out doesnt always work, but who cares right before you have drunk sex? understandable. but like that is so ****** up im at a lost for words.... ******* crazy hoe lol i feel for you dude. Guess we all know whos gonna be carrying around a condom from now on haha

shinychexmix 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 4:52

then DON'T HAVE DRUNK SEX WITH A GIRL YOU BARELY KNOW. :)

beerchen 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 4:55

Oh come on... it's drunk sex. Don't be so harsh on him. Condoms really don't feel so good.

jokerbaby21 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 6:05

haha I think this is the best one I've read so far. thank you for posting. =)

xancouver 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 8:22

Don't talk to her for two months then show up at her door with flowers. When she takes the flowers kick her with all your might in the stomach! WaaaaPow! That'll show her!!!!