Love: Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much...

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 394

You deserved it 3 957

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Delusional

By Anonymous - 02/08/2012 00:56 - United Kingdom - March

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 190

You deserved it 3 299

Is it that rare?

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 00:00

Today, my girlfriend is mad at me. Apparently in her country, not burping after a meal is very rude, and means you think their cooking skill is bad. I get throat gurgles, not burps. I tried to explain, but she thinks I made up a fake condition. It’s not fake, just so rare it’s unheard of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 126

Pound for pound

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 14:01

Today, my girlfriend had a huge fight with me because while I'm trying to gain weight and she’s trying to lose some, I’ve still lost more weight than her. Not my fault my body’s natural preference is to drop pounds like they’re hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 139

By brittrod - 05/12/2011 01:13 - United States

Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 043

You deserved it 3 386

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 18:09 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 145

You deserved it 44 641

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 15:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 472

You deserved it 1 650

By Username - 06/10/2010 21:59 - France

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about how self conscious I am and how I obsess about my weight. He said, "Don't be ridiculous, you don't need to lose THAT much weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 037

You deserved it 28 714

By AbFlab - 01/06/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I've been dieting and working out trying to work towards some solid abs because I know my girlfriend digs that stuff. I've been miserable trying to achieve this goal, plus to make things even better while kissing today she grabbed my stomach and said "I just love your abs of... flab." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 806

You deserved it 5 225

Thanks Karen

By Anonymous - 26/08/2014 15:30 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 685

You deserved it 4 366

Whatthefuckaburger

By r u kidding me? - 09/06/2020 20:00

Today, after my girlfriend continuously whined for hours about a specific burger place, I finally gave in and we drove nearly two hours to get there. Once in line, she looked at the menu, then decided everything had too many calories and wanted to go home. She doesn’t get why I’m pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 877

You deserved it 333

bargarlm 2

Tuesday 13 December 2011 23:50

So she thinks she's full of air? That makes sense, sounds like she's an airhead....

tellithowitis 13

Tuesday 13 December 2011 23:49

Just nod your head and say yes

Comments

KristantheGreat 5

Wednesday 14 December 2011 0:17

liking those blondes, huh ?

alexwarfield333 1

Wednesday 14 December 2011 0:22

Haha! It's like Charlie and The Chocolate Factory!

XxJade418xX 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 0:22

Lol is she plain dumb ?

FarSide 22

Wednesday 14 December 2011 1:46

...as opposed to fancy dumb??

cwc2311 4

Wednesday 14 December 2011 0:24

Tell her that inhaling puts the weight right back on. Maybe that will get her to stop. If not, you've got all the excuse you need to belch as much as you want to yourself.

MelTheGreat 23

Wednesday 14 December 2011 0:33

Oh, this is awkward.

HerpaderpMeg 12

Wednesday 14 December 2011 0:35

technically she's using calories to make herself burp, so in a way, she's losing weight, one calorie at a time. then she eats and totally undoes any progress.

AdrianEC 15

Wednesday 14 December 2011 0:42

At least she isn't anorexic? FYL.

bizarre_ftw 21

Wednesday 14 December 2011 2:38

But that's only due to the fact that she can't figure out how to be. Not much better.

coopjamo 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 0:47

Wow

SugaryTears 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 1:02

Tell her to listen to some Nicki Minaj. That always works.

bubo_fml 10

Wednesday 14 December 2011 1:05

There's also a rumor that semen is good for a female's complection...1 guess on how fellas convince their girlfriends on how to extract such glory juice...