Finally another early childhood educator who ACTUALLY understands the different developmental stages of a child and what is and isn't age appropriate. I seriously think OP needs to get extra schooling in the field of children or leave the profession to people who actually understand it and each of the developmental stages children go through

I agree...a lot of people turn their nose down at preschool teachers because it's "just babysitting", but preschools have come along way from the 80s and even 90s. I had to go through (and still am) a lot of schooling, including the psychological aspects of child growth and development. It is nice to know their are people out there willing to educate themselves on small children, because well its not exactly easy!! Kudos to us! Lol I so get that not everyone is interested in child development, and not everyone is cut out for the childcare department but since OP is Obviously is interested, I agree also with your more education statement!

Oh my God you're one of those people that are ruining today's youth. "Just ignore bad behavior". "Time out is harsh". This is why kids today have no respect and are little monsters that no one wants to be around. Harsh is getting the belt or the board out. Not giving harsh enough punishments is creating these little monsters and it's much better to nip a problem in the bud once than constantly be "punishing" a child for the same damn thing because a little time out doesn't phase them. Kids will thank you for it when they're older. I thank my parents, my husband thanks his, my friends thank theirs, etc. Our goal as parents and educators is NOT to make the kids like us. It's to make them productive members of society. Being your kid's best fried is half the problem. If they don't like you sometimes because you punish them, too bad. They'll like you again later, and love you for it as adults. Inappropriate behavior needs to be corrected. While exploring their bodies is normal at that age, it's NOT appropriate to do in public or around other people. That's like saying its fine for a 12 year old to have sex because it's a "normal" reaction to their hormones.

Wow. I've had a million time-outs within my childhood and you know what? I learned damn quickly what's right and wrong to do. There is nothing wrong with a time-out. I agree with some of the other posts saying there should have been a warning first, but how do you know OP hadn't warned the kid before? You don't. I've taken many child development courses as well as general psychology courses on how the developing mind of all age groups works. There is nothing in any of them detailing a child's self esteem being harmed because of a time-out. It's rather beneficial. OP didn't have to and didn't necessarily say "it's wrong because you're too young" or "it's wrong because it's sexual" (and yes, it is sexual -- you're pleasuring yourself sometimes to the point of ejaculation or ******, which is the same result as sex itself, it's just you doing it instead of someone else).

Wait wait wait...I never said there was anything wrong with time out, but as an educator I've been taught the proper way to deal with a child that doesn't resort to time out all the time. Guess what? Just because you don't use time out as a punishment doesn't mean you are your child's best friend. I'm sorry, time out stops working after a while. I'm not saying your terrible for using time out, I just choose not to. Growing up, my family didn't use time out either and I am a very productive member of society. How you run your home (or classroom for that matter) is up to you, but if you have really done research you would know their are more productive means of discipline than always resorting to time out. Also, it IS NOT sexual!! Children dont understand that touching themselves is sexual unless someone tells them it is! Children explore their body, a four year old development is different than a twelve year. You can't compare the two. In a preschool setting, we are encourage to find other options of discipline and use time out as a last resort. Not using time out doesn't mean you let children get away with murder, you just have different ways of disinclined

The biggest problem is parents DON'T discipline their kids and teachers can only do so much. Teachers are screwed because they can't spank the kids like they could waaaay back when and more kids than ever need spankings. Yes time outs stop working after awhile, but there's not much a teacher can do since they can't spank. That's where the parents are ******* up their kids. They're raising them not to fear adults and to run around doing whatever they want with no consequences.

187 - And when exactly did anyone say a time-out is the ONLY effective means of discipline? I am also a teacher; I deal with grade 1-6 and have seen almost everything in terms of what kids do. Don't go assuming I'm not educated enough because our opinions differ. You say you're trained, and I'll take your word for that but I still disagree with a few points in your post. It may not be sexual to you, but it is to a certain degree to me and several other people on here. I'm not alone in my thinking. They may not realize what they're doing, but that doesn't change what it truly is. If a child hits you hard across the face, does that mean it's not violent because they don't necessarily realize what they did? Of course not. It is exploration of oneself, but it is also sexual in nature.

For people claiming I am saying time out is horrible, and that I need to comprehend what everyone is saying, comprehend what I'm saying . I never stated time out is bad, but putting a child in time over exploring his body is wrong in my opinion. There are ways around that, and putting him in time out did nothing but highlight what he was doing. And, I never said anyone was uneducated because they didn't agree with me, that's fine for you to have our own opinions and I don't have to agree with them as much as you don't have to agree with me. The Timeout debate is as tried as any, and frankly i do use time out when its needed. I'm sorry that society has owner sexed everything so much that a child learning his body is sexual. I could say the same as breast feeding cause is a boob not sexual? But, breastfeeding isn't sexual now is it?

236 - But many people are uncomfortable with seeing breastfeeding in public. This teacher happened to be uncomfortable, as would many others be, with seeing the kid play with themselves in class.

No, she wasn't right, It is WRONG to put a child in time out over this. OP should have intervened first if she was that uncomfortable with it, instead of freaking out and jumping to time out. The child was NOT learning about sex, don't be stupid, the child is learning his or her body. There is a gigantic difference here. Get your facts straight before opening your mouth. You look-a-fool.

Maybe if you read I already made the distinction that it's a 'sexual organ.' Whenever I've read about this type of situation, a parent deals with it. And honestly the policy is going to vary from state to state, even from school to school about how an educator is going to handle a situation. People have to veer on the side of caution with our sue happy culture. Let alone that there was absolutely no mention to how OP reacted besides putting the child into timeout. I doubt she went into a yelling rage and woke up the rest of the children just to punish one individual.

Regardless, your statement implied SEX. That's what you are getting at, even though your wording your way around it. Children do not know this is a sexual origin unless you tell them it is, so that comment is worthless to me. No one said that OP needed to sit down and have a birds and bees talk with the parents, but time out is a little harsh. Honestly, unless in extreme cases time out is a lazy mans way of punishing children, there are so many other positive discipline that accomplish more that sitting in a corner for any length of time. I'm not bashing time out, I just think it should be a last resort thing. But, OP embarrassed the child, and from a psychological point of view, she could have done more harm than good. And, I don't know if you know about kids or not, but you don't have to go into a "yelling rage" to embarrass or wrongly discipline a child. A soft spoken harsh word hurts just as much as being screamed at. And while yes, policy's change state to state, across the world educators should have one thing in mind. The good for the child!

You obviously want to take from my comment what you want to. I've watched many different parenting styles, and even more discipline styles. From a working class household, the teacher did the right thing - those parents don't sit down and discuss everything with their kids like middle class parents do. I can only hope that every teacher is doing their job to help children, and not for a paycheck. But we have no idea what that school's policy is or how she implemented the time out, as there isn't enough information in the statement. Making assumptions makes asses out of all of us, and misreading comments and insulting others definitely makes an ass out of you.

No, sweetie, your the ass. Why does it have to be a sexual thing? You keep bring up parents don't talk to their children about "sex", but this isn't a sexual situation. And, you are a complete ignorant moron if you think that "class" has anything to do with how you raise your children, which,as you claimed I did, Is an assumption on your part. That is the most foolish, ignorant statement I've ever seen. No where in the post did it say "today I disciplined a low income child for masturbating." Guess what? Children see each others as equals, which we all are. So perhaps you should reevaluate what you said about me making myself look like an ass, when you just implied low income families don't talk to their children about certain things.

Right now I'm studying the differences between children now from different classes; just disproving stereotypes that it has nothing to do with race and it has everything to do with class. I keep reinforcing that a child touching themselves is up to a parent to deal with, as I know many parents would feel uncomfortable if an educator talked to their child first about the subject without their permission. I have not mentioned the word sex since my first comment, and only to reinforce that the issue was not about sex but the importance of a person's sexual organ. Like I said, you keep reading into the comment just because you want to, and insulting me over it really isn't necessary.

Sigh, I can keep arguing with you until the cows come home but bottom line, your study is wrong and biased. Class is just classier word for saying people are poor, rich or in between. That is the most redundant and over used way of thinking I've ever seen. I don't care if your loaded or work your ass off, your child is born into an equal opportunity to be raised with love and care and understanding. In regards to your constantly stating a parent needs to talk to their children, while duh of course they should, when you leave your child in the care of someone else, it is that persons responsibility to nurture your child properly. I feel that the teacher should have either one ignored the child and if she was not able to ignore it, than she needed to explain to the child that is bathroom business. Because you also stated the child might ask why it's bathroom business, than you simply explain that bathroom business is private and that's just the way it is. Children don't need you to explain to them that they are touching your penis and no one wants to see that. Simple explanations are best with children, they don't need to know its a sex Origin or what it's used for. Should we not also discipline them for saying words they shouldn't, because that's a parents job? Or hitting or kicking need to be ignored because a parent is the parent and the only one to discipline the child?

Oh my goodness so many things wrong with this. While it's not wrong for a kid to explore their own body, it's absolutely wrong to do so in public. When a child does something wrong, they need to be punished. Period. Even if it's a simple "don't do that again or else". We don't know if OP gave the kid a warning or not, but even if she didn't it's better to over-punish a little than not punish at all. Time out is in no way an extreme punishment. Spanking with a belt or a board is an extreme punishment. IMO, you give a warning, then a time out, then a spanking. With certain acts done by a child, you can skip right to spanking. I used to want to be a kindergarten teacher, but since no one disciplines their kids anymore, I'd get fired within the first week for going off on the parents because I'd be dealing with their horrid monsters all day and schools don't allow jack for punishing kids anymore. Another point brought up that I just started laughing at is the class thing and "all people are equal". That's a fantasy. People are created equal in a living organism stand point but not a social one. There are an awful lot of bums and criminals in the lower class. While there are lesser people in all classes, they are more concentrated in the lower class. We shouldn't look down on the lower class as a whole, but we shouldn't see criminals and low-lifes on the same level as smarter higher class people. The standards are different between classes too. Kids in higher classes are expected to be successful and go to college and have careers. Kids in lower classes, while many do that, often don't even make it out of high school and work at McDonalds forever. I have plenty of examples, but my post is long enough so I'll just leave it here and add what I need to based on comments I receive.

Thank you, Miss Hayley. Just reading this damn thread pissed me off so much... I'm glad someone's got their head on straight.

Wow you're not the brightest crayon in the box now, are ya?

@BubbleGrunge MissHayleyJames already responded to issue of class. Of course there are different classes, and different classes are going to raise their children differently. But this entire thread just became offtopic in the desire for a person to have the last word and be right. If you want to look more into the topic, look up “Unequal Childhoods: Class, Race, and Family Life,” I've been looking to it now in my understanding of the relationship between class and family life. As for your last bit on kicking, hitting, or cursing, that is completely offtopic to the FML and I'm not even going to touch on that. @MissHayleyJames Thank you for putting into words that I was unable to, the drawback to responding to an FML to early in the morning. I don't understand the rush to label OP an unfit teacher by the response of time-out, but I'm guessing that the majority of the people in this thread responding have similar backgrounds, probably even leaning towards talking to a child about everything: including why they do something, the desire behind it, and why or why not the action is okay.

No wonder our world is so ******, when your going to put children in to classes and discriminate them on the basis that their family struggles to make ends meet. I don't care if your poor, rich, white, black, Hispanic or any other "classification" you want to put people in, I am going to regard every child as equal and give them the best opportunity to succeed in life. Sometimes it's no wonder children turn into terrible teens and worthless adults, when you've already decided their less likely to succeed because their parents aren't middle to upper class. Guess what? I came from a hard working family, my mother was a single parent with three children to feed and went without for herself to provide for us. I don't think I'm least likely to succeed because of it, and besides education in early childhood, I'm also working on my masters in social work. Don't tell me lower "class" doesn't provide or talk enough with each other as upper class, or is my family just a out of norm working class to you?

I never said all. Did I ever say all? I said low lifes are more concentrated in the lower class. And I never put children into "classes". I put individuals in classes. My husband is from a working class family. No one in his family has a college degree, except his younger brother who graduates next month with an associates. It took him 4 years to get an associates and no he wasn't working full time. My husband's 29 year old brother lives with their grandparents. My husband's 29 year old cousin lives with her parents, dropped out of high school, and complains about working 16 hours a week and that it's "so hard". My husband's parents both have to work to make ends meet. His dad is a temp worker driving a forklift for a warehouse for $12 an hour. His mom has a desk job for $17 an hour. My husband just got his GED in February, because my father offered to send him to a 4 year college. My husband's family is wonderful. They're great people and I love them to death. They're typical lower/working class which there's nothing wrong with, but some of them are, well, less than favorable. My in laws, in my opinion, didn't do a good enough job with discipline with the kids. My husband was a brat as a kid, and they kicked out his older brother when he was 15 because he was out of control. The younger brother is sheltered. He can't even drive anywhere without a GPS. He has major issues and will probably never leave home. I grew up middle/upper class and in my family, my dad has a masters degree, my brother has a masters degree, I'm graduating with a bachelors next month and getting a masters after, my cousin are in college, etc. Class doesn't make people bad or undesirable. The fact of the matter is though, there are more problematic people in the lower class. Not all of them are obviously, but there are just more of them in the lower class than upper classes. All kids should get the same opportunities because they can make something of themselves, but the fact is many won't and they keep adding to that perception.

BubbleGrunge, you need to start reading and clearly comprehending before you can continue this discussion. You're clearly misreading everything that's being said on here and exaggerating what you do read until the cows come home.

omg your way of thinking is in no way favorable to a child.... yes some things must be punished if their behavior is dangerous or might hurt someone but some things juste need to be explained and others left alone. children or in a developpemnt process and some things are just normal. putting a child in time out while he isn't hurting annyone but because his behavior is simply bothering you and making you uncomftorble is just wrong and very bad for a child. especially in this case, this child probably doesn't know it's wrong and isn't doing it for sexual reasons but simply because it reassures him and because he's just un that stage of his developpement. putting him in time out tells him it's just wrong no matter what and will cause many problems... this child may developpe troubles regarding sexuality, self estime and towards whats wrong or right. there are other ways to handle a problem than by punishing... we call it intervention

Honey, for one, go back to school. Your spelling is atrocious. If a kid gets butt hurt over one freaking time out then they're going to be in therapy for other reasons at some point. You have the mentality that's screwing up today's kids. "Just ignore it if they're not hurting anyone". Right. That's the whole problem. I'm not even going to waste an explanation on you since you can't even write a paragraph.