that genuinely made me laugh. kudos

Glad to be of service :D

What do you mean by, "Result - negative?"

No drugs. :)

Drug test results

Oooooooh. Derp. I wasn't really wondering about the drug test. I assumed you were clean. So when you said "Result - negative" I thought you were saying something about the situation with you and your fiance. Oops. Silly me!

yo OP, preposterous demand by OP's mother, yes but quick question do you wanna call off the engagement over this? Because half of fml thinks so. Seems like everyone here have the perfect bf/gf husband/wife, fiance/fiancee.

50, OP shouldn't have to coddle her fiancee into caring for himself. She doesn't need to butter him up with "ohhh, you sexy man with basic life skills", she can just wait until he's hungry and let him handle it himself. And 63, my fiancee's not perfect but if her mother tried to get me fired with a career-damaging lie, she certainly wouldn't respond like OP's did.

63, Being imperfect and taking sides with someone who attempts to sabotage your fiancee's career are two VERY different things. Honestly, 5 years ago, I would have forgiven this sort of behavior. But now, having been put through absolute hell by a husband who behaves just this way and divorcing him, I would consider this a deal breaker. The behavior on the part of the mother is sociopathic, and the behavior on the part of the fiance is pathetic. I speak from experience when I say that it's far more likely this situation will get worse rather than better, and that OP would do well to rid herself of these people. Sorry if it hurts to hear that, OP, but that's the truth as far as I see.

#67 what you said is mostly true. mostly. Personally speaking, my mom can only give me suggestions on this and that but will never go that length to do what the mother did. Have you read the comments? Most of them are about the fiance's cooking skills instead of what you said. Besides, should they break up immediately because of this? are you ******* kidding me? Has OP talked to her fiance to grow a spine and stand up for her? Why are people so quick to judge?

In my experience, 78, when you have to explain or argue with someone to get them to understand why behavior this utterly ludicrous (ie taking his mother's side in this particular situation) is wrong, they have a much deeper flaw that cannot be overcome, and any apology or promise to behave differently as a result of that conversation is meaningless, because they'll continue to behave that way anyway. I also don't see someone as nuts as his mother ever getting a grip, and unless he's willing to cut her out of his life, she's going to continue to interfere and make them both miserable. Again, I only say this because this situation is so extreme. Sabotaging someone's career is a form of abuse, not some petty offense or misunderstanding.

I think at this point you know what caused him to lose his cooking skills

63, I don't have a boyfriend, fiancé, or husband, and praise be for that...the ones I've had were all similar to OP's in terms of their spinelessness and inability to take care of themselves. That's my real problem with OP's fiancé, by the way, though I'm really concerned by the thought that there might be a full-on, mentally sound adult out there in the world who can't even open up a can of soup and dump the contents in a saucepan. OP, I'd say you need to have a serious talk with this guy, but be prepared to unload him. I dated two men who had similar traits. The first one was an alcoholic trust fund baby who went running back to mommy and daddy after I pressed charges against him for stealing my car, and the second was an entitled ass who didn't listen any of the times I expressed my disinterest and disgust in marriage and humiliated me by publicly proposing right around the holidays. If your fiancé can't seem listen to you or understand why this is not appropriate behavior from his mother, he needs to go.

OP@32: His cooking or lack thereof is irrelevant, it's his siding with his mother. She's a psycho, he's a momma's, and this will not change. Run for your life.

That doesn't make him seem any less an imbecile. I know moving on is hard but, as a married woman, let me assure you they don't get better with time. They get more comfortable and therefore don't try as hard. This is probably as good as he gets. Ask yourself, can you live with that?

Have you talked to your fiancé about what his mother did and how unacceptable that was? if so, what was the end result?

There's plenty of good advice in this thread, so I don't have much to add besides this: DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN! BREAK OFF THE ENGAGEMENT!

@78 You're the most judgemental person here. This isn't a healthy relationship dynamic and nobody is wrong in saying so. Also, you seem to be the only person concerned about perfection. We don't have to put up with toxicity in a relationship just because we're not perfect.

I would have just gone down and get a restraining order on her.

#130 Don't fall off the bandwagon. OP's fiance is beyond repair.