Health: Today, I have an autoimmune disease which causes my penis to...

By Damm - 24/01/2009 19:05 - United States

Today, I have an autoimmune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 363

You deserved it 2 767

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 14:36 - United States - Arlington

Today, my acne reached a new low. Literally. I'm now getting bright red pimples on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 795

You deserved it 2 848

By dawg3360 - 07/06/2009 06:02 - Canada

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 639

You deserved it 134 208

By maturity - 08/04/2013 00:30 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 990

You deserved it 64 256

What a feeling!

By numbcrumb - 18/09/2017 23:15

Today, I discovered I have a condition that causes loss of feeling in my clitoris during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 942

You deserved it 306

By Curt - 06/09/2009 18:19 - United States

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 887

You deserved it 9 406

By man-period? - 02/03/2016 06:48 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 433

You deserved it 1 632

By BYUwildchild - 17/12/2010 16:23 - United States

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 953

You deserved it 3 529

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 14:25 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 185

You deserved it 40 097

By Anonymous - 28/01/2016 16:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with a condition that makes me lactate. I'm a 6' tattooed guy with a boxing competition coming up soon. I'm never going to hear the end of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 389

You deserved it 1 825

What's up, doc?

By Anonymous - 07/04/2018 05:00

Today, I went to the doctor because of the redness and swelling of my penis, hoping that it was just a minor rash or allergic reaction. Nope! According to the doctor, who could barely stop herself from laughing, it's good old-fashioned friction burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 054

You deserved it 2 008

poisenoreo46 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 3:16

groovy baby

BetaGirl 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 1:44

what no pic?

Comments

badasstjstyle 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 0:36

thats what you get when you screw the warriorrr

_atomic 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:46

I wish I could have sex with someone with a tie dye penis!

Kara_araK 24

Tuesday 3 May 2016 23:13

Me too

shinystuff 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:41

LOL, if I was a chick I would dig that.

Sakurarouge 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 7:55

My favorite penis was Calico. Don't worry, I bet it's adorable!

paleknight47 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 7:13

A chick would dig that but... Am I the only one that notices he has AIDS?? Auto Immune Disease Syndrome

jahwn 12

Monday 20 July 2009 21:34

Actually it's Aquired Immune Difficency Syndrome

SarahsWickedGame 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 23:40

thats kinda hot i wanna see it

toaster468 0

Monday 12 April 2010 4:03

I have an electrical penis.... I can use it as a calculator. it's better than a dumb tie dye penis.

Shyman4ever 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 5:05

Haha noob

bigraws23 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 7:20

(FYL FYL FYL FYL)x1000000000000000000000

TheOtherNewest1 6

Friday 24 July 2009 2:37

#7 ROFL.

inface2b 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 9:17

a plaid penis would be twice as cool

TokioPunk483 0

Monday 7 September 2009 20:44

It seriously would xD

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 975

You deserved it 10 760

Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 507

The Top

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 887

You deserved it 91 018

Today, I got a new job. I'm 26 and I left an amazing job to move back to be around my family. I have no choice but to take this job. I will be placing my finger in a dead turkeys ass, cutting open its stomach, and ripping out its guts. 15 per minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 106

You deserved it 10 783

Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this girl I really like. I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park. She confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me. Out of excitement and hungoverness, I threw up on her shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 197

You deserved it 21 179

Today, I accidentally spilled a big glass of water on the table, where I had some papers, my cellphone, and a box of donuts. With lightning reflexes, my sister heroically jumped forward and saved the donuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 893

You deserved it 9 235

Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said "girls don't wear deodorant". He actually believed that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 326

You deserved it 3 007

Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 052

You deserved it 14 210

Same thing different taste

What a feeling!

What's up, doc?

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