Intimacy: Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house....

By MistressSuzuka - 21/09/2012 00:05 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 310

You deserved it 2 817

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

May be

By Anonymous - 29/02/2020 20:00

Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 142

By quadropheniac - 09/06/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128 519

You deserved it 8 109

By skrewedguy - 08/12/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 692

You deserved it 6 624

By John - 13/01/2011 21:12 - United States

Today, I cleaned my entire apartment hoping to find the source of the terrible odor I've been smelling for the past week. It's me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 125

You deserved it 39 768

Parting shit

By smellymcgee - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Farmington

Today, I came home to the vilest stench I've ever smelled. I had to open a floor vent and scoop up the turd that was inside. Funnily enough, today was the day my scumbag roommate moved out, but I'm sure he had absolutely nothing to do with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 925

You deserved it 882

Welcome

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 20:01

Today, I had to clean out my husband's brother's room as he is moving. The room was filled with childish toys, mould and years of dust covered everything. Behind and under every piece of furniture were earwax encrusted cotton swabs, hundreds of them. Oh yeah, he's moving in with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 149

By disgusted - 23/02/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 453

You deserved it 3 688

By tawnaciousd - 10/09/2009 06:35 - United States

Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 153

You deserved it 5 060

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 06/04/2022 00:01

Today, I found out my younger sister is too cheap to buy her own sex toys, so she has been borrowing mine. I clean mine thoroughly after use but apparently she just puts them back in the box after she’s done, while they’re still wet. Not gonna lie, I threw up a little after she'd admitted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 226

You deserved it 211

By Anonymous - 06/08/2018 22:00

Today, I learned that the "nasty smell" in my room, which I cannot detect, does not exist. It was just my stepmother trying to make me go insane deep-cleaning my room for her personal amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 078

You deserved it 277

yumgranolabar 5

Friday 21 September 2012 8:58

That's all kinds of nasty.

BabySparkle1 15

Friday 21 September 2012 9:01

Hasn't she ever heard of cleaning the vibrator? Or using vagisil "down there"? That's really disgusting.

Comments

Techtacular 0

Friday 21 September 2012 22:11

That's just so wrong on so many levels.. Barf.

crazedsyco 15

Friday 21 September 2012 22:11

man that horrible! im so sorry!

EricaJoy 0

Friday 21 September 2012 22:21

Why does her vibrator stink? *gags*

C0N71NG3NCY 6

Saturday 22 September 2012 0:38

That is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard.

EgyptianPride98 8

Saturday 22 September 2012 1:47

Oh God, I know the feeling. I came to borrow my sister's phone as I needed it urgently and she wasn't there. When I unlocked it, a photo of her putting a glue stick into her ****** came up (I guess she was masturbating and took a picture of it?). I will never EVER borrow a glue stick (or anything else from her for that matter) EVER (emphasis on the "EVER") again. I can't even look her in the eye anymore...