Intimacy: Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for...

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By Buzzie - 02/09/2010 21:09 - United States

Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 597

You deserved it 14 386

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Same thing different taste

By SleepyKirsty - 09/06/2009 13:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 786

You deserved it 5 723

By kazmatazz - 17/05/2012 10:33 - Oman

Today, I found out that the extremely attractive man that works in my building can hear everything I say about him through the paper-thin walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 537

You deserved it 9 105

What's that buzzing?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 17:59 - New Zealand - Invercargill

Today, I thought I was in a relatively soundproof room before I started up my vibrator. It would have been, if the door wasn't wide open behind the curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 1 329

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 09:26 - United States

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 769

You deserved it 35 864

By ShowerStar - 15/08/2012 21:14 - United States - Mequon

Today, I realized that my neighbors can not only hear me singing in the shower through my apartment's paper-thin walls, they also take great delight in recording it so that they can play it at high volume for their friends when they next throw a party. I want to disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 000

You deserved it 4 459

By Anonymous - 24/01/2015 07:57 - United States - Houston

Today, at dinner, my downstairs neighbors described how they can hear most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew that it's not my phone that's vibrating at that time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 525

You deserved it 5 980

YELP!

By Anonymous - 19/04/2022 12:00 - United States - Brookline

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I had always thought my bedroom wall was soundproof, because my old neighbours never complained about my loud night terrors. Turns out they were just stone deaf. The new ones can hear everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 143

The sound of silence

By hearing too much - 03/11/2019 02:00

Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 229

By Scholar - 05/09/2012 16:13 - United States

Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 470

You deserved it 3 958

Sexy time

By Anonymous - 17/10/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 071

You deserved it 4 512

RoccoRox 0

Friday 3 September 2010 1:42

just say, I do have a boyfriend, he's just battery operated ;).

glorialaura21 8

Friday 3 September 2010 1:54

well just say it's your electric toothbrush! ..and you were making noise bc you have sensitive teeth and it hurts when u brush? lol duhh

Comments

Silvyrbug 6

Friday 3 September 2010 6:13

Who makes your vibe? Black n Decker, or Harley Davidson?

Fici 0

Friday 3 September 2010 6:13

it's fine if u do that as long as u don't do it to much

flowerbaby 0

Friday 3 September 2010 6:14

im sorry but u must be one ugly **** if you havent gotten laid in 3 years

remy3106 10

Friday 3 September 2010 6:44

I guess that is how u feel

CJrox606 0

Friday 3 September 2010 20:42

and you're NOT ugly?

And_Jelly 0

Friday 3 September 2010 6:16

Hawt.

lsufan77 0

Friday 3 September 2010 6:17

#115 is smoking hott

jmh96 0

Friday 3 September 2010 6:24

male prostitutes?

oldenuff2party 3

Friday 3 September 2010 6:27

: o

morneuroloke 0

Friday 3 September 2010 6:39

Either your walls are made of canvass or you've got one psycho monster vibrator.

WickedWendigoX 0

Friday 3 September 2010 6:40

boo you ***** :)

remy3106 10

Friday 3 September 2010 6:41

lol

teagaann 0

Friday 3 September 2010 6:47

time to go out?

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The Top

Today, my mom realized we have been sharing tooth brushes because they are similar colors. I told her it doesn't really matter since we're mother and daughter. She responded by saying that she loves me, but she has no idea where my mouth has been, and she doesn't want my diseases. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 020

You deserved it 11 175

Today, I went to the movies and accidentally walked into the wrong theater. I sat through an entire horror film, thinking it was supposed to be a rom-com. I kept waiting for the romantic twist. It never came. Satanic haunted dolls or whatever they were did, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 609

The Top

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 860

You deserved it 10 071

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 573

You deserved it 6 845

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 722

You deserved it 24 340

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 900

You deserved it 5 592

Today, I’m glad that my friend’s grumpy old cat, who I’m watching in her absence, actually seems to like me. In fact, she likes me so much that she wakes me up at 4 a.m. to not only demand food, but demand my company while eating it. How very flattering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 177

Today, I wanted to talk about marriage and our future with my boyfriend of over 10 years. My 30-year-old boyfriend responded by hiding under a blanket and pretending he couldn't hear me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 110

You deserved it 695