Animals: Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified...

By DogLover - 06/02/2013 13:59 - United States - Watertown

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 561

You deserved it 4 821

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 169

You deserved it 185 637

By imfromtexas02 - 06/06/2009 14:03 - United States

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 437

You deserved it 12 633

By nopenopenopenope - 23/09/2016 03:28 - United States - Winston Salem

Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 679

You deserved it 2 475

By eightleggedtictac - 08/06/2014 15:10 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 784

You deserved it 6 855

By hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 885

You deserved it 4 202

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 14 264

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 878

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 160

By terrified - 09/08/2015 03:10 - United States - Forest City

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 411

You deserved it 2 447

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 323

Al_HyLo 5

Wednesday 6 February 2013 19:00

genius. I do that to my sister

zingline89 18

Wednesday 6 February 2013 19:02

I think I just found my new favorite way to kill spiders

Comments

whinthy 18

Wednesday 6 February 2013 22:35

What a talented dog you have .

mirokuboy2 20

Wednesday 6 February 2013 22:37

You're lucky... My dog eats em and throws up the parts on my bed... Wanna trade?

fresh247 10

Wednesday 6 February 2013 22:38

did it like a boss

SnoochBoochie 14

Wednesday 6 February 2013 22:41

Oh my..

SnoochBoochie 14

Wednesday 6 February 2013 22:42

When there's something strange crawling on your floor, who ya gonna call? Just Buster!

vbmg152 18

Wednesday 6 February 2013 22:43

That was pretty smart, actually!

poccocurantes 7

Wednesday 6 February 2013 23:38

Way to flush him out boy!

BurningGrannies 16

Wednesday 6 February 2013 23:54

I like your dog's strategic thinking

MayaTheBee_fml 10

Thursday 7 February 2013 0:24

Get a cat, it will probably try to eat it

_wraith 15

Thursday 7 February 2013 0:37

Even in fear he tried to protect you! Kudos to your dog for acting through his terror to protect his master.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 430

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 270

The Top

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 550

You deserved it 5 504

Today, I was skating to school and a car stopped then when I was skating across, then another car came and hit me and I went flying.. Her one response was ,"Oops, sorry, didn't see you." Everyone else saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 137

Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 270

You deserved it 3 070

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 373

You deserved it 300 343

Today, I realized that I know, all too well, what it feels like to have my over-middle-age boss's boob on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 694

You deserved it 1 751

Today, I was at church singing and my solo came up. As I walked through the crowd, this big woman caught the holy spirit and slapped the crap out of me. It was so hard, my fake tooth came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 285

You deserved it 1 465

Same thing different taste

Monster in my bathroom

Juicy breakfast

Leave spiders to chill

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