Love: Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up,...

By Anonymous - 22/01/2014 00:55 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 372

You deserved it 6 206

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By RightInTheFace - 12/09/2015 16:16 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 580

You deserved it 1 904

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 00:36 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 682

You deserved it 3 100

Night terrors

By scared shitless - 24/06/2020 08:02

Today, I learned the hard way that my girlfriend’s young daughter sleepwalks. I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water, only to be greeted in the dimly lit hallway by her creepy silhouette. I yelped like a bitch and dropped the glass on my foot, breaking two toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 753

You deserved it 359

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 718

You deserved it 26 847

Public freakout time

By camzzz - 02/07/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 196

You deserved it 47 798

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 822

You deserved it 7 808

By Anonymous - 29/12/2009 18:52 - Canada

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 573

You deserved it 6 880

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 020

You deserved it 7 506

By Sawarski - 07/01/2013 20:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 666

You deserved it 3 300

By Jebus - 24/01/2009 16:07 - Canada

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 117

You deserved it 34 794

Ashamed_Sister 60

Wednesday 22 January 2014 12:18

You just have to prove to her that she is sleepwalking. Afterwards you can blame her for almost everything.

naxeeb 33

Wednesday 22 January 2014 12:19

Not saying that it's the case here, but she could easily have done that and blamed it on sleep walking! o_o

Comments

brandoneyez1 25

Wednesday 22 January 2014 12:57

You sure she didn't just say that, but in reality walked out with one eye just slightly open. Just enough to tell you she's still the boss even asleep?

Tsuky_fml 4

Wednesday 22 January 2014 15:17

You can sleepwalk with your eyes open. Happened to me.

brandoneyez1 25

Wednesday 22 January 2014 16:49

I would be curious to see that! I have never slept walked.. Or at least nobody has told me I did. I tend to sleep deep.

Tsuky_fml 4

Wednesday 22 January 2014 16:54

I had some sleepwalking episodes. My mom saw me and told me. She said I was unreactive, but my eyes were open so she thought I was awake but still dizzy. Another time, I just came beside her bed during the night and screamed, waking her up and scarrying her, then calmly went back to my bed. She blamed me a lot for this in the morning while I only felt like I slept like an angel.

brandoneyez1 25

Wednesday 22 January 2014 17:52

Freaky! Worst part is if you do something dangerous. I did hear of someone who sleep walked outside and into the pool. I think she survived it.

turtlehernandez 11

Wednesday 22 January 2014 13:12

You sure she wasn't just messing with you?

MrCareless 17

Thursday 23 January 2014 8:03

That would be soo evil, if she was messing with him.

Michael903 18

Wednesday 22 January 2014 13:13

You didn't pay attention to her until she stepped on your balls. Sleep walking or not, YDI.

lailaxjan 11

Wednesday 22 January 2014 17:42

I mean, he could have just been really focused on the game; when one is in the zone they don't always have the best observance skills. What he should have noticed, due to peripheral vision, is her getting closer (unless she snuck up from behind...but there was a couch there). Or maybe he just thought she needed a drink or to pee and didn't think much of it cuz she gets up a lot when she sleeps?

sporteeholmes01 15

Wednesday 22 January 2014 20:58

And if she was SLEEPWALIKNG don't you think she was asleep? OP probably decided to play video games because she fell asleep..... But the whole kicking situation was probably on purpose.