Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that you should always check the inside of your... - FML

By filipkm - 28/04/2016 22:04 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, I learned that you should always check the inside of your guitar to avoid a snake bite. Nope, strings don't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 613

You deserved it 845

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Same thing different taste

By jooshuarr - 18/06/2010 23:09 - Spain

Today, while tuning my bass guitar, I noticed a very strange screeching sound. I leaned over to look behind the neck. The biggest string snapped off and cut the side of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 709

You deserved it 4 720

Not on a plane

By Surewhatever - 16/10/2019 14:01

Today, when I warned my guests to check the toilet for snakes, I meant it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 145

By olive_costume - 05/12/2009 01:16 - Australia

Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 720

You deserved it 8 065

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 18:52 - Macedonia

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 793

You deserved it 6 879

By McWhopper - 08/05/2015 17:40 - United States - Brookline

Today, I found out that maggots can live inside of a saxophone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 608

You deserved it 4 357

By anonymous - 25/06/2016 20:03 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 537

You deserved it 947

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 346

You deserved it 29 705

Psssssych!

By Welcome to Florida - 20/07/2017 13:01

Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 340

You deserved it 540

Relic job

By Anonymous - 29/05/2015 19:18 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had to explain to my little sister that not all guitars are supposed to have a hole in them, that when I was talking about "breaking it in" I didn't mean I'd smash a hole in it, and that she shouldn't have taken a hammer to my expensive new guitar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 598

You deserved it 2 837

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:07 - Israel

Today, I was told by my neighbors that my guitar playing sounded a dying cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 480

You deserved it 23 485

Next

Top comments

Hunter_the_Ninja 22

Friday 29 April 2016 14:20

I think the real FML is that you left your guitar in a place that a snake could get in. Or you house is infested with snakes. In option b, there only one recourse: burn the house down and never look back.

cacheson 41

Friday 29 April 2016 16:00

Get the snake to go outside by distracting it with some badgers and mushrooms!

Comments

Tom O'Halloran 9

Monday 10 February 2020 3:49

If it could fit into the body of your guitar with the strings on it, it was a very small snake. Put your big boy panties on and It walk it off.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 780

You deserved it 4 168

Today, I got home from visiting my long-distance girlfriend. I spent $366 to get a plane ticket to visit her for the week. The day after I arrived there, she broke up with me and I had to buy a ticket for an earlier flight home. With fees and penalties, I paid around $550 to be broken up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 712

You deserved it 5 223

The Top

Today, I woke up and rolled out of bed. I'm on the top mattress of a bunk bed. We have tile floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 802

You deserved it 8 683

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 969

You deserved it 5 604

Today, I turned 18. I thought it was bad enough that I had to pick up my own ice cream cake from the store, but then when I got home, my family discovered no more room in the freezer. They decided to eat it so it wouldn't melt. Without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 480

You deserved it 3 341

Today, I went to a cafe to order some food. The person at the counter was at least 30 cm taller than me, was wearing a mask, and had a quiet voice. I heard him ask, “Takeaway?” so I said no. He repeated the question three more times and I said no every time. Turns out he was asking “Dine in or takeaway?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 121

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 963

You deserved it 91 225

Today, my friend has been continuously played Skibidi Toilet on repeat and singing the song. She's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 129