Health: Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

By Anonymous - 26/04/2011 13:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 183

You deserved it 51 650

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Same thing different taste

By idefka - 08/04/2017 02:00

Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 516

You deserved it 1 861

By Holly - 05/02/2010 07:33 - United States

Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 778

You deserved it 35 273

Liar !

By Anonymous - 14/03/2020 09:00

Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 1 292

By ThunderThighs - 23/07/2014 23:24 - United States - Flemington

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 202

You deserved it 20 478

By Fatass - 18/04/2014 05:37 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 705

You deserved it 13 879

Cheat day

By Hungry - 03/09/2019 06:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I conveniently "forgot" to write down a bunch of stuff, including a huge kebab, in my Weight Watchers food journal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 2 167

By LP - 15/06/2009 02:35 - United States

Today, my mom accused me of having an eating disorder, and I didn't correct her. Truth is, I lost weight after I went off the pill a year ago. I'm too embarrassed to tell my mom that I haven't had anyone in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 951

You deserved it 7 586

Don't attempt this

By jammy - 25/06/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, after I completely starved myself for a week and exercised every day in an attempt to lose weight, I instead gained 5 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 265

By mattlikesfunions - 18/07/2016 18:56 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 749

You deserved it 1 237

Desks are so judgmental these days!

By Anonymous - 17/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was promptly told to lose weight today by my computer desk when it broke under the weight of my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 617

shithappens2memo 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 19:22

why? who else reads it?

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Tuesday 26 April 2011 19:36

she's cheating on her diary with a sexy little journal.

Comments

denvan 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 8:09

Today, my scale lied to me. FML

refuse2lose 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 9:10

"lloooohhhhhhssseeeerr" Jim Carey called u best.

adelineo 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 9:28

You lied to your diary and admitted in FML. Nice... what's your diary for then?

bootje 5

Wednesday 27 April 2011 10:07

Did your diary put a gun to your head and demand to know what your weight is?

miszmadden 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 11:31

fail lol

firemaker1211 5

Wednesday 27 April 2011 11:56

holy cow you lied to your diary .... fail

Jakerat88 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 16:25

Go. To. The. Gym. Stop. Crying. About. Your. Fatass. And. Change

tolin89 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 16:30

lol this is funny

tolin89 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 16:30

lol this is funny

garBanzobean17 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 18:35

you have a diary??haha

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fundraiser at an old folks home. One lady ordered a box and told me that she loved cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in four weeks, she said, "Oh I can't wait!" Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope you can make it till then!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 109

You deserved it 66 796

Today, I found out my husband of four years has been cheating on me with his boss, who had been kind and treated me well. I never suspected it until I caught them in OUR bed. All he would ever do was come home and complain about how hard his job was. I guess that wasn't the only thing that was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 167

The Top

Today, I was loving on a dog at work. I noticed her fur was coarse and short and I'd never felt anything like it before. I broke out in hives all over my face. This happens whenever I'm around any cats, guinea pigs, or rabbits and now some dogs apparently. I'm in school to be a vet tech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 685

You deserved it 489

Such a poser.

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 346

Today, I realised that my closeted gay friend has dated more women this year than I have in my 28 years of life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 277

You deserved it 2 766

Today, it's my birthday. My husband said he had to work today and “rain checked” my birthday celebration for “god knows when, because I’m so busy. I’ll let you know.” A couple of months ago it was his female work bestie’s birthday and he got her a cake, balloon, flowers, and requested time off to take her out for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 155

Today, in my art class we had to paint a nude portrait of a fat, old woman. About halfway through the piece, and while painting her fat rolls, I realized she was the only person other than myself I had ever seen naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 184

You deserved it 7 804

Today, I found out that my mom had read my diary because she was worried. She now knows details about my depression, details about my sex life, such as how I lost my virginity, to whom (I don't have a boyfriend), and what condition I was in at the time (drunk as a duck). She also showed my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 392

You deserved it 22 063