Miscellaneous: Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh,...

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By Anonymous - 20/05/2013 15:56 - United States

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 220

You deserved it 3 379

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Same thing different taste

By Sprinkles - 04/02/2015 07:44 - Australia

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 910

You deserved it 2 732

By Anonymous - 05/07/2012 13:38 - United States - Hudson Falls

Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 646

You deserved it 2 248

WTF dude?

By MyS3lf - 19/04/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 145

You deserved it 3 331

By PeepShow - 06/08/2009 06:04 - United States

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 282

You deserved it 47 097

HUMAN! I NEED ATTENTION!

By Mur - 09/09/2023 22:00

Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 139

Dangleberries

By myeyesburn - 28/10/2019 14:00 - Canada

Today, I got up from bed after a good night's sleep, and walked outside. The first thing I saw was my 60-ish year-old neighbor bent over, picking up a newspaper. He was wearing nothing but a way too short bathrobe and a pair of rubber boots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 582

You deserved it 177

By catlady - 01/03/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 644

You deserved it 9 073

Purr Evil

By Anonymous - 05/03/2021 15:30 - United States - Alachua

Today, I was awakened at 5:30 a.m. Did my dog need to go out? No. Did my alarm go off? No. My neighbor's asshole cat was on my window AC, scratching at my window, before pissing on the AC and jumping off. If I turn it on, my bedroom will reek of cat piss. The high today will be near 90. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 92

Neuter your pets

By Anonymous - 18/01/2021 20:01

Today, our cat is in heat. Her male counterpart is sitting outside my bedroom door, serenading her loudly, and has sprayed his piss all over the house, making sure she cannot escape him broadcasting his availability. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 1 247

By disturbedtosaytheleast - 27/01/2012 11:19 - Canada

Today, I discovered that when the man living in the house behind me thinks no one in the surrounding area is home, he likes to take his laundry off the line wearing nothing but a pair of sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 005

You deserved it 2 684

japtap81 16

Monday 20 May 2013 19:17

I don't think I'd want to know

Welshite 39

Monday 20 May 2013 19:17

I think in this instance ignorance is indeed bliss.

Comments

babeababe 16

Monday 20 May 2013 22:45

Does he own a cat? Oh god I hope not...

catsie_fml 14

Monday 20 May 2013 23:00

He was probably molesting a cat...

AngrySailor 17

Monday 20 May 2013 23:03

...later that night Otis was arrested for kitty ****.

SirMichael 13

Monday 20 May 2013 23:29

Poor kitty.

Austinlavista 5

Tuesday 21 May 2013 0:11

Bad lip reading, the walking dead. Look it up on YouTube. You'll understand where he got it from.

ahippienamedrae 10

Tuesday 21 May 2013 0:25

Clearly, he's getting some kitty.

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 21 May 2013 0:31

It's best not to find out...when you hear that I would suggest leaving for an hour or two...then coming back...or invest in a pair of ear plugs...

Megan98 18

Tuesday 21 May 2013 0:35

Kinky... O_o

LyraAlluse 25

Tuesday 21 May 2013 1:42

Apparently he likes cats.

amifaiyaz 12

Tuesday 21 May 2013 4:19

I don't even...

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I agree, your life sucks 44 824

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I agree, your life sucks 25 937

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You deserved it 816

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I agree, your life sucks 55 144

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Today, my father bought a pair of fancy noise cancelling headphones. He doesn't realise that the noise cancelling function only slightly muffles the moaning and screaming in the porn he's watching. FML

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You deserved it 1 759