Kids: Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke...

By Marjorie - 13/07/2012 17:08 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 226

You deserved it 3 436

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Same thing different taste

My little boy

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 00:30

Today, my 12 year-old son came home with two broken arms after finding an awesome place to ride his bike. He found a sweet jump and his handlebars broke. He's currently in slings and waiting for an appointment with a surgeon, the breaks were so bad, the hospital couldn't reset them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 99

Thanks Steve-O

By Anonymous - 30/07/2014 08:21 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 513

You deserved it 5 124

Sussy Baka

By boymom - 04/08/2021 15:59

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 114

Happy Birthday

By Anonymous - 30/01/2013 22:50 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 858

You deserved it 2 499

By derped-out sperm - 01/04/2014 21:41 - Ireland

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 095

You deserved it 5 929

By Anonymous - 09/04/2012 22:32 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 614

You deserved it 2 998

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 11:56 - United States - Newburyport

Today, after a snowstorm my son decided that boarding off the roof onto my truck would be fun. My truck now has a puncture wound. The same truck that drove him to the hospital for his puncture wound and broken arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 896

You deserved it 1 896

By Connor - 25/12/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 053

You deserved it 2 643

Fire hasard

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 18:23 - United States - Ridge

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 631

You deserved it 3 064

By failureparent - 21/03/2011 01:25 - United States

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 835

You deserved it 54 590

Starcatch77 20

Saturday 14 July 2012 2:00

You know what they say...The apple doesn't fall far from the tree... ...Or the window.

yuggi1 11

Saturday 14 July 2012 2:02

It's cause those damn ice cream trucks are there one second and gone the next. Every millisecond counts.

Comments

kimg0885 23

Saturday 14 July 2012 2:24

I was thinking the same thing. Darn now I have the Klondike jingle stuck in my head.

flutter4 7

Saturday 14 July 2012 4:09

Thanks, now I do too :)

MrSassypants 32

Saturday 14 July 2012 2:25

He is probably literaly screaming because of ice cream now.

tylermt1999 17

Saturday 14 July 2012 2:20

Blue bunny is amazing

alexup24 13

Saturday 14 July 2012 2:37

It could cause you to end up in heaven...

Keiren 14

Saturday 14 July 2012 2:36

That is...Ouch. Poor kiddo. When my dad was a kid he jumped off the roof with a 'parachute'. It was a harder landing than he expected. -_-

purpledrizzle 5

Saturday 14 July 2012 2:37

Those ice cream trucks don't wait.

CeeCee_fml 16

Saturday 14 July 2012 2:42

Well, did he get the ice cream?

osm1989_fml 6

Saturday 14 July 2012 2:38

Did he at least get his ice cream?

rcgirl2 11

Saturday 14 July 2012 2:44

This sounds like the FML about how a mom tossed her son's Xbox controller out the second story window and he jumped out the window to go get it.

unknown_user5566 26

Saturday 14 July 2012 2:45

Damnit, you beat me to it. I got a bit too excited and posted without reading. Good job, sir.

Keywords

Awkward Management Work Love Embarrassing First Dates Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Confused Students Lonely Relationship advice Break-ups Family Cute Sex Intimacy My ex Housework Parents LGBTQIA+ Smoking Abuse Kids Cars Birthday Geek Technology

The Top

Today, when my date realised I have a daughter, her actual response was, "Ew." She then got up from our table and went and sat at the bar. By the time I paid my half (and only my half) of the bill, she was already glommed onto another guy at the bar with her hand on his thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 155

Today, my husband is leaving me because he did a paternity test on our 4 year-old daughter and found out she’s not his. The night of my bachelorette party I drunkenly hooked up with two men so I don’t know who the father is. He doesn’t understand that I was drunk and that family isn’t about blood, it’s about love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 702

The Top

Today, it's the eighth day in the last two weeks that my job has kept me late, while working with broken equipment. It's been longer than that, but I started counting two weeks ago. I've been cussed out because of the broken equipment too. No amount of money is worth not seeing my girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 128

Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my boss's words, "Abided by company policy to such an extent that customers were starting to hate me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 031

You deserved it 1 280

Today, I had a concert. At the end, my conductor was recognizing soloists. When he pointed at me, I was confused, but stood up anyway. It turns out he was pointing at the person behind me. I had to awkwardly sit back down in front of over 500 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 869

You deserved it 6 047

Today, the mother of my children and partner of 13 years told me she is leaving me for her boss. I'm currently sitting in the living room with our two kids and her mother. Everyone here is half of her. We moved 1000 miles away from all of my family and friends 8 years ago. I think I might be living in a sitcom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 116

Today, I treated my friends to lunch at a posh restaurant because it's my birthday. While we were walking leisurely around the mall afterwards, their boyfriends showed up. I spent the next few hours walking alone behind them while they were walking hand in hand with their boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 299

You deserved it 4 587

Today, I came home to find my dad crying. Turns out my parents are getting divorced because my mom had an affair. With a teacher at my school. A female teacher. And the school isn't going to fire her because she's a good teacher. Every day at school I'm going to have to see her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 416

You deserved it 4 045