Kids: Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke...

By Marjorie - 13/07/2012 17:08 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 226

You deserved it 3 436

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Same thing different taste

My little boy

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 00:30

Today, my 12 year-old son came home with two broken arms after finding an awesome place to ride his bike. He found a sweet jump and his handlebars broke. He's currently in slings and waiting for an appointment with a surgeon, the breaks were so bad, the hospital couldn't reset them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 99

Thanks Steve-O

By Anonymous - 30/07/2014 08:21 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 513

You deserved it 5 124

Sussy Baka

By boymom - 04/08/2021 15:59

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 114

Happy Birthday

By Anonymous - 30/01/2013 22:50 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 858

You deserved it 2 499

By derped-out sperm - 01/04/2014 21:41 - Ireland

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 095

You deserved it 5 929

By Anonymous - 09/04/2012 22:32 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 614

You deserved it 2 998

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 11:56 - United States - Newburyport

Today, after a snowstorm my son decided that boarding off the roof onto my truck would be fun. My truck now has a puncture wound. The same truck that drove him to the hospital for his puncture wound and broken arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 896

You deserved it 1 896

By Connor - 25/12/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 053

You deserved it 2 643

Fire hasard

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 18:23 - United States - Ridge

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 631

You deserved it 3 064

By failureparent - 21/03/2011 01:25 - United States

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 835

You deserved it 54 590

Starcatch77 20

Saturday 14 July 2012 2:00

You know what they say...The apple doesn't fall far from the tree... ...Or the window.

yuggi1 11

Saturday 14 July 2012 2:02

It's cause those damn ice cream trucks are there one second and gone the next. Every millisecond counts.

Comments

TurboTurkey 9

Saturday 14 July 2012 3:53

Worst part is, I don't think he got his ice cream. :(

tim240_fml 4

Saturday 14 July 2012 4:03

Parkour!

kimg0885 23

Saturday 14 July 2012 17:41

Hardcore

Briiyahh 7

Saturday 14 July 2012 4:04

Smart son

Briiyahh 7

Saturday 14 July 2012 4:07

What are kids like that gonna do to the world

DanceAxe 1

Saturday 14 July 2012 4:10

...did he get any ice cream?

HeartOfLead 24

Saturday 14 July 2012 4:21

At times, ice-cream gives you wings! But unfortunately this wasn't one of those times.

auspycious 0

Saturday 14 July 2012 4:26

That kids boss! Give him a hi-5 for me

DJP0N3 0

Saturday 14 July 2012 4:29

Udi for not having a shitload of oce cream in your freezer during the summer seriously its even cheaper then the ass cream truck

DracoSpirita 21

Saturday 14 July 2012 4:31

Ass cream? Is that what you put on your face at night to make it so fugly?

moemoney8888 7

Saturday 14 July 2012 4:54

So did he get the ice cream

Vynoshit 3

Saturday 14 July 2012 5:06

Quit masturbating when you should be looking after your son. What great parenting.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, yet another guy friend-zoned me for being overweight when I asked him to hang out. I have Hashimoto's disease and it’s really hard for me to lose weight. I eat decently and take 20 minute walks daily. I wish I could go to an island where less superficial jerks lived so I can have a chance at love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 301

Today, I took a huge shit halfway through my gym workout, one of them half-wet, messy, stuck in your butt hairs. Three rolls and an anus with the feeling of carpet burn later, I proceeded to the bench feeling strong. At the twelfth rep, I sharted, right in my brand new gray pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 267

The Top

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 827

You deserved it 47 769

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 902

You deserved it 42 500

Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 013

You deserved it 203

Today, I had given up on finding my makeup bag with cell phone and iPod my mom had bought for me recently. So I went to art to join the group of girls with whom I share the back art studio of my school. One of them was talking about how she'd ripped off some bitch's stuff, and she held up my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 625

You deserved it 3 084

Today, I found out that sorting and deleting old unnecessary emails to free up space meant reliving the most horrific memories I've ever experienced. Worse yet, I have to keep certain old messages in case these things ever come up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 120

Today, I went on a date with a guy, who decided to rudely text message his friend the whole time. When I got home, I realized he'd been texting the girl he was going to hookup with after our date; she happens to be my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 274

You deserved it 3 744