Intimacy: Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls...

FML for mobile
Free

By Anonymous - 07/03/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 905

You deserved it 4 611

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

One day…

By Animal - 24/02/2011 19:14 - Canada

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 295

You deserved it 17 113

By helpfulmom - 26/07/2009 18:39 - Canada

Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 145

You deserved it 6 780

Awkward

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 06:30 - United States

Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 612

You deserved it 7 237

By pumpkinlover89 - 27/03/2010 08:26 - United States

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 395

You deserved it 10 453

By anon - 16/03/2015 04:10 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 770

You deserved it 2 594

Missing

By Anon - 04/08/2013 05:36 - Australia - Perth

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 669

You deserved it 20 299

By vistingherfamily - 25/11/2011 02:09 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 836

You deserved it 3 374

By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 359

You deserved it 1 893

By juliette - 08/10/2012 05:39 - United States - Tucson

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 555

You deserved it 4 508

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 052

You deserved it 4 107

thongs4lyfe 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 9:12

omfg!!!!! I've used glow in the dark condoms before!!!!! sooooo much fun to watch go in and out! and to play wit, it's like a lite saber!!!!!!

yoshi359 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 9:09

turn the lights off!!!

Comments

tsarevna 6

Tuesday 11 January 2011 20:34

that IS a cool mom :D

bluegoldfish 7

Wednesday 23 March 2011 22:57

that is AWESOME how is this an fml??????

lilblondefreak 6

Thursday 12 May 2011 2:46

AAAH ! I haven't been able to find those ! i be jealous ! my boyfriend would have a ******* glow in the dark dick , that is ******* sick ! ;)

JaelynJ 4

Monday 16 May 2011 0:10

fml that that isn't my boyfriends mom.

Ieatpeople17 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 22:57

Best mom ever

camelspanker69 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 7:15

hahahahah I wish my mom was that cool about that stuff!!!

ClaytonAwesome 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 16:28

This should be on My Life is Awesome

shinrawr 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 23:59

how is this an FML? it's not even bad.

christanaamamore 3

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:35

my god how is this an fml?!?!?!?

awesomenessXD 3

Friday 5 August 2011 16:59

WTF how is this an fml?? this has to be an epic win

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Friends TV shows Coworkers Weird Work Transportation Airplanes Health Mental health Therapy ACAB Gross Parents My ex Intimacy Sex Cleaning Relatable Annoying Technology Games Geek Rings Love Engagement Awkward Jewelry

The Top

Today, I got a text from an unknown number that said, "Are you free tonight?" Thinking it was a friend messing around, I responded with, "Only if you're buying booze and dinner." The reply a few minutes later was, "This is Dr. Peters, your dentist. You missed your appointment today. You need to reschedule." FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 477

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 344

You deserved it 27 535

The Top

Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 531

You deserved it 2 918

Today, my crush came over and we began to fool around. He started to kiss my stomach, and just when I was getting into it, he pulled away with a disgusted look on his face, wiped his mouth, and said, "We'll continue this when you get rid of all your bellybutton lint." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 919

You deserved it 62 754

Today, I thought I was seeing double. My neighbours got a new dog, which is exactly the same as the other one, except that it hates me twice as much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 141

Today, I decided to have some bagels. It was only after I ate them that I looked at the cream cheese and discovered that it expired 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 1 943

Today, it’s my girlfriend’s birthday. I took her out to her favorite restaurant to celebrate. The waitress serving us looked oddly familiar but I didn’t think anything of it until she said when we collected the check, “Aren’t you my sister’s husband?” I forgot she had a younger sister who worked here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 2 782

Today, whenever I call my father on the phone he never answers, but if I ever ignore his calls he wishes me dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 88

Same thing different taste

One day…

Awkward

Missing

Top comments

Comments