Intimacy: Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls...

By Anonymous - 07/03/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 897

You deserved it 4 608

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Same thing different taste

One day…

By Animal - 24/02/2011 19:14 - Canada

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 287

You deserved it 17 107

By helpfulmom - 26/07/2009 18:39 - Canada

Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 133

You deserved it 6 778

Awkward

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 06:30 - United States

Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 597

You deserved it 7 233

By pumpkinlover89 - 27/03/2010 08:26 - United States

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 379

You deserved it 10 447

By anon - 16/03/2015 04:10 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 759

You deserved it 2 592

Missing

By Anon - 04/08/2013 05:36 - Australia - Perth

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 660

You deserved it 20 288

By vistingherfamily - 25/11/2011 02:09 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 819

You deserved it 3 370

By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 347

You deserved it 1 890

By juliette - 08/10/2012 05:39 - United States - Tucson

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 542

You deserved it 4 503

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 024

You deserved it 4 100

thongs4lyfe 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 9:12

omfg!!!!! I've used glow in the dark condoms before!!!!! sooooo much fun to watch go in and out! and to play wit, it's like a lite saber!!!!!!

yoshi359 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 9:09

turn the lights off!!!

Comments

tsarevna 6

Tuesday 11 January 2011 20:34

that IS a cool mom :D

bluegoldfish 7

Wednesday 23 March 2011 22:57

that is AWESOME how is this an fml??????

lilblondefreak 6

Thursday 12 May 2011 2:46

AAAH ! I haven't been able to find those ! i be jealous ! my boyfriend would have a ******* glow in the dark dick , that is ******* sick ! ;)

JaelynJ 4

Monday 16 May 2011 0:10

fml that that isn't my boyfriends mom.

Ieatpeople17 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 22:57

Best mom ever

camelspanker69 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 7:15

hahahahah I wish my mom was that cool about that stuff!!!

ClaytonAwesome 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 16:28

This should be on My Life is Awesome

shinrawr 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 23:59

how is this an FML? it's not even bad.

christanaamamore 3

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:35

my god how is this an fml?!?!?!?

awesomenessXD 3

Friday 5 August 2011 16:59

WTF how is this an fml?? this has to be an epic win

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 518

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 1 845

The Top

Today, I was suffering from acid reflux. I was told that drinking water laced with baking soda would help. Nope, all it did was create a huge belch that made me vomit all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 508

You deserved it 3 667

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 853

You deserved it 8 905

Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 131

You deserved it 7 297

Today, my girlfriend caught me using my T-shirt as a tissue. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 3 233

Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 305

You deserved it 4 384

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 196

You deserved it 3 765

Same thing different taste

One day…

Awkward

Missing

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