Intimacy: Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls...

By Anonymous - 07/03/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 895

You deserved it 4 607

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Same thing different taste

One day…

By Animal - 24/02/2011 19:14 - Canada

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 284

You deserved it 17 105

By helpfulmom - 26/07/2009 18:39 - Canada

Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 130

You deserved it 6 777

Awkward

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 06:30 - United States

Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 593

You deserved it 7 231

By pumpkinlover89 - 27/03/2010 08:26 - United States

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 376

You deserved it 10 444

By anon - 16/03/2015 04:10 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 758

You deserved it 2 592

Missing

By Anon - 04/08/2013 05:36 - Australia - Perth

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 655

You deserved it 20 285

By vistingherfamily - 25/11/2011 02:09 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 814

You deserved it 3 370

By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 343

You deserved it 1 890

By juliette - 08/10/2012 05:39 - United States - Tucson

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 536

You deserved it 4 502

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 019

You deserved it 4 098

thongs4lyfe 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 9:12

omfg!!!!! I've used glow in the dark condoms before!!!!! sooooo much fun to watch go in and out! and to play wit, it's like a lite saber!!!!!!

yoshi359 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 9:09

turn the lights off!!!

Comments

tsarevna 6

Tuesday 11 January 2011 20:34

that IS a cool mom :D

bluegoldfish 7

Wednesday 23 March 2011 22:57

that is AWESOME how is this an fml??????

lilblondefreak 6

Thursday 12 May 2011 2:46

AAAH ! I haven't been able to find those ! i be jealous ! my boyfriend would have a ******* glow in the dark dick , that is ******* sick ! ;)

JaelynJ 4

Monday 16 May 2011 0:10

fml that that isn't my boyfriends mom.

Ieatpeople17 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 22:57

Best mom ever

camelspanker69 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 7:15

hahahahah I wish my mom was that cool about that stuff!!!

ClaytonAwesome 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 16:28

This should be on My Life is Awesome

shinrawr 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 23:59

how is this an FML? it's not even bad.

christanaamamore 3

Tuesday 26 July 2011 18:35

my god how is this an fml?!?!?!?

awesomenessXD 3

Friday 5 August 2011 16:59

WTF how is this an fml?? this has to be an epic win

Keywords

Gross Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Kids Scary Mental health Parents Creepy Miscellaneous Cold weather Embarrassing Dating Tinder Love Work Cute Transportation Cops Awkward Sports Crush Teachers Education AITA Public freakouts Mother in law Weddings

The Top

Today, a friend and I drove all the way from Texas to a small town in Colorado to spend an entire uninterrupted night together. Not only did he forget to bring condoms but everything was closed by the time we got into town. We ended up playing cards on the bed instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 451

You deserved it 46 014

Today, I got back from my honeymoon. Return flights from Australia to New Zealand? $1,800. A week’s accomodation in another country? $1,500. Busting my new husband finger banging a barmaid by the public pool? Fucking priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 054

You deserved it 196

The Top

Today, I went bowling with my family. When my brother went up to buy a drink refill, the guy at the counter kindly refilled it for free and told him that he thought I was pretty. My dad laughed and shouted, "Pretty ugly!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 891

You deserved it 425

Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking Gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 377

You deserved it 3 229

Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 310

You deserved it 7 648

Today, my school is having homecoming. I'm taking a date who I really like, and she happens to have fairly large boobs. I have a friend who seems to think I have an obsession with boobs, so I texted her last night reading "btw, no big boob jokes tomorrow." I accidentally sent it to my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 035

You deserved it 51 706

Today, I was emptying a bag of grass from my lawn mower when I saw pieces of what used to be a 50 dollar bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 182

You deserved it 6 188

Today, I competed in a national championship for the sport that I play, and none of my family came to watch and support me. My wife, kids, parents, brothers and sisters - none of them. It was the only opportunity to see me compete, as I'm getting too old and have to stop now. Thanks for nothing, family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 130

Same thing different taste

One day…

Awkward

Missing

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