Love: Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first...

By thisisavirus.exe - 31/12/2013 20:57 - United States - Sherwood

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 208

You deserved it 5 549

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Same thing different taste

By dead man walking? - 04/10/2015 13:21 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 738

You deserved it 2 214

By pdub523 - 27/01/2013 05:57 - United States - Longview

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 193

You deserved it 3 814

Very very frightening

By graham - 11/01/2020 14:00

Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 356

By daniel55 - 18/02/2013 00:11 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 390

You deserved it 5 869

By Shit - 27/04/2014 17:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 621

You deserved it 6 743

Meet the in-laws

By Anonymous - 13/11/2021 19:59

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. He pointed to two crossed swords above the fireplace and informed me the right one is his, and that if I ever hurt his daughter, he’ll give me a fighting chance by letting me use the left one. This guy thinks he lives in the Middle Ages or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 403

By whattheactualfuck - 22/01/2016 12:50 - South Africa - Durban

Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 848

You deserved it 3 407

By TronCat8230 - 20/05/2017 12:00

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 077

You deserved it 2 165

Thousand-yard stare

By timiscuous - 20/04/2020 20:00 - New Zealand

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 20:15 - Canada

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 854

You deserved it 6 399

bjhhjh 20

Wednesday 1 January 2014 0:30

And thats the reason there is 911 and life crisis hotlines

xThatOneWeirdGuy 18

Wednesday 1 January 2014 0:32

Unless he was joking, run. Now.

Comments

bestbelieve 9

Wednesday 1 January 2014 20:31

If a father ever showed me a bullet or said anything about him owning a gun, id just ask to take me to the shooting range. It should work lol

howdoilogin 9

Thursday 2 January 2014 0:37

Don't let the father of your girlfriend get away with trying to act like a badass. His little princess does have flaws and if he can't accept that he can spend the night in jail.

Muttley9 13

Thursday 2 January 2014 4:30

Bill Engvall's plan to prevent potential boyfriends from taking advantage of his daughter: I'm going to pull him in tight next to me so only he and I can hear the conversation. And I'm gonna say to him, "Boy, look at me. You see that little girl right there? She's my only little girl, man. She's my life. So if you have any . . . thoughts . . . about huggin', or . . . kissin', you remember these words: I've got no problem going back to prison."

hhelms2009 8

Thursday 2 January 2014 6:28

One of two, regret or respect. You choose. :)

drewk877 5

Thursday 2 January 2014 9:12

tell him you can swing a fist faster than he can load a gun.

Ep1cTaco 1

Thursday 2 January 2014 9:17

I might mine for the first time yesterday and he told me he bought a new 12 g that's loaded and ready for me FML

Daydreamer4466 6

Thursday 2 January 2014 13:19

Time to say by by by.

namelessmonster 6

Friday 3 January 2014 2:54

Sounds like you need Jesus!

octopussperm125 18

Friday 3 January 2014 5:59

Show him your third arm and tell him that will ruin her life

willmatrix 6

Friday 3 January 2014 18:15

Two things. 1) if she wants the D, then you better give it. 2) Did he specify who'd be shooting the bullet? He may know his daughter is psychotic and was trying to give you advice/warning.