Love: Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked... - FML

By CassidyQueen - 06/06/2015 02:14 - United States - Warrenton

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 239

You deserved it 5 575

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Same thing different taste

Say hello, wave goodbye

By Anonymous - 28/06/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. I also moved right back out, after I caught him sexting one of his coworkers just a few hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 92

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 679

You deserved it 3 610

He prefers the dog

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 999

You deserved it 370

By krisest1988 - 07/05/2016 21:34 - United States - Columbus

Today, my boyfriend came home from a two week vacation and told me I need to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 719

You deserved it 973

By Anonymous - 11/03/2010 02:48 - United States

Today, after uprooting my life to help my boyfriend, I realized I receive more affection from my landlord's dog than I have from my boyfriend since I've moved here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 209

You deserved it 4 258

By wtf - 30/01/2015 09:00 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 596

You deserved it 2 657

Put your foot down

By K.. - 28/02/2021 14:01 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I moved into our own house. He proceeded to invite his parents to stay for the week. The same parents we've lived with for the past 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 382

You deserved it 179

Grossed out

By vomiting - 07/03/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend took me home to have dinner with his parents. I couldn’t eat a single bite after watching his mom let her three dogs taste all the food off her hands, while she also licked her own fingers while cooking. Later on, he dumped me for being rude and “too high maintenance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 12/02/2015 16:50 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my boyfriend threw a fit because I "still" live with my mother at age 30. I bought her an apartment in my building and hired a live-in nurse because she is senile and permanently bedridden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 343

You deserved it 2 548

By cockalicious - 01/03/2011 05:29

Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 713

You deserved it 5 022

Next

Top comments

naturallyfuck 17

Saturday 6 June 2015 19:27

Well I wouldn't let you touch my apple jacks either

nkb94 18

Saturday 6 June 2015 19:26

Well shit. I hope he wasn't serious.

Comments

trunganhnguyen 4

Saturday 6 June 2015 19:45

tell him you eat what you like

ohSNAPyall 26

Saturday 6 June 2015 19:57

I second that.

laden_swallow09 34

Saturday 6 June 2015 23:14

Yeah, and the dog will eat whatever whose nipples are thrown at him.

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:16

85 learned that the hard way.

imslappy 8

Saturday 6 June 2015 19:46

this is going to be fun to watch. where is the popcorn.

elizacandle 29

Saturday 6 June 2015 19:50

time to GTFO

drosek89 20

Saturday 6 June 2015 19:50

Buy a box of Apple Jacks, or whatever your favourite cereal is, and tell him the same thing.

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:20

Copyjack.

tranced_ 45

Saturday 6 June 2015 19:54

things you listen to for accommodation!

TheBossBryson 11

Saturday 6 June 2015 19:55

Just eat the cheerios

Unbearable_fml 21

Saturday 6 June 2015 19:57

Time to move again.

SadSouthernBell 18

Saturday 6 June 2015 20:00

Even as a joke that's pretty messed up. Just don't touch the apple jacks until you find a more stable place to stay. Possibly a park bench...

FlutterLoud 29

Saturday 6 June 2015 20:01

Well I guess you shouldn't touch his applejacks o-o

teapotrevolt 27

Saturday 6 June 2015 20:02

Exactly, wtf happened to talking out your problems? All of a sudden the answer is to break up. Oh, he doesn't accept this one minuscule thing about you? Better dump each other right now. Haha ****

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend, for our first time having sex, wanted to do stepbrother roleplay. Not only is that odd for our first time, it’s a weird fetish to have, especially when she actually does have a stepbrother. We ended up not finishing having sex, it was too weird for me FML

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You deserved it 279

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

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You deserved it 1 842

The Top

Today, my mom threatened to hurt me if she finds out i’m not changing my pad in between every single class. My classes are all on opposite sides of the building and nowhere near any bathrooms. I don’t even bleed that much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 80

Today, I was on my way to college when I got in a car wreck with none other than my professor. My car was totaled and couldn't drive, but his could so I missed class, but he still made it. The end result? He marked me as an "unexcused absence" and gave me a zero. The accident was his fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 926

You deserved it 632

Today, I realised my step-kids never really thought of me as their dad, given that since their mother died 7 months ago, they haven’t visited me once, don’t respond to texts, or answer when I phone them. I’ve been totally abandoned by them, even though I’ve been their stepdad over 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 94

Today, my wedding day was ruined by my fiancé’s psychotic ex. It started out with the venue and my dress getting pelted by paintballs and one of her friends riding an ATV around, running over my fiancé. He's currently in the hospital with broken ribs and a concussion. $42,000 down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 125

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 685

You deserved it 2 118

Today, I found out that my great-grandmother was a cougar, seducing men who were barely older than I am now. I did not need to know this information. Thanks Grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 216